Remember
by kinseyjo
Summary: Olivia's a single mom. Started out as a songfic to Trisha Yearwood's The Song Remembers When but as usual got out of hand. I'm worried about the summary giving too much away. How 'bout you just read it?
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: The new chapter story I promised! Started out as a songfic (surprise, surprise) – Trisha Yearwood's The Song Remembers When. Let me know what you think! By the way, I had originally written this in third person, but there's going to be smut and I like writing that better in first. So maybe I'll just write in first from now on… anyway, if you see me mix up my "persons" (switching from first to third or something), it's just cuz I didn't catch it when I went thru and fixed before I posted. XO, Kinsey_**

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination belongs to me!**

**Dedication: to my Rachel who's on SPRING FRICKING BREAK this week (so look for lots of updates on Threads and Unrequited love or I will withdraw her Chris privileges so she can concentrate), and my new buddy bandbfan24 (who just flat-out rocks with her ego boosting reviews)!!**

"I love this song," I say to the young blonde girl behind the counter, smiling at the memories it brings up.

"Oh, me too. It's a good one! I haven't heard it forever," she responds. She hands me the receipt from my bank deposit and a sucker for the six-year-old girl clinging to my leg.

"What do you say, Kelli?" I quiz my daughter.

"Thank you," she replies politely.

Looking into my daughter's deep cerulean eyes, I can remember exactly where I was the last time I heard this song. I smile at the memory of Kelli's dad – my best friend, protector, all around knight-in-shining-armor-love-of-my-life. Anytime I think of the man who gave me Kelli, I'm filled with mixed emotions – sheer joy: I loved him so fiercely and passionately. Sadness: he's gone and Kelli will never know the amazing man who gave her life. Anger: anger that he didn't want us more; didn't want us enough to stay. And lastly guilt: that I didn't tell him about Kelli before it was too late.

_I was standing at the counter  
I was waiting for the change  
When I heard that old familiar music start  
It was like a lighted match  
Had been tossed into my soul  
It was like a dam had broken in my heart_

Later at home that night, I'm sitting on the couch talking to a couple girlfriends over instant messenger when my daughter climbs up on the couch next to me.

"Mommy," Kelli begins.

"What, Babe?" I respond.

"Tell me about Daddy," she requests.

I sigh. This is a pretty typical request from my inquisitive brunette. Maybe she should be a detective someday.

"What do you want to know?" I ask; same as always.

"What did he look like?" she asks back. I tell Rachel and Shari that I'm going to put Kelli to bed and I sign off the instant messaging program and close the laptop. When I put it on the coffee table, Kelli climbs into my lap.

"Kellibean, you have _tons_ of pictures of your daddy," I remind her, stroking her light brown hair, still damp from her shower.

"I know, Mommy, but it's different when you tell me," Kelli says, snuggling against my chest.

"Okay," I sigh softly. "Well, your daddy had the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Just like yours," I whisper. That's Kelli's favorite part of the story.

"What else?" Kelli asks.

"He had brown hair."

"But it was darker than mine," Kelli supplies. I've told her this story so many times, she could probably tell it to herself. In fact, some nights, I find her in her room telling her dollies about _their_ daddies.

"Mhm," I respond.

"What about his hugs, Mom?"

"Your daddy's hugs were the safest place in the whole wide world. When he hugged me, I knew he'd never let anything bad happen to me," I whisper, the tears beginning to build. That's my favorite part. Also happens to be the part that makes me cry.

"I feel like that when you hug me," Kelli says.

"I'm glad, Kel. You'd feel that way when your dad hugged you too," I say.

"But he's in Heaven, right?"

"Mhm," there's the guilt again.

"Momma?"

"Yeah?" I ask, trying to choke back the tears.

"What was my daddy's name?" my baby questions.

"Elliot."

_After taking every detour  
Getting lost and losing track  
So that even if I wanted  
I could not find my way back  
After driving out the memory  
Of the way things might have been_

_After I'd forgotten all about us  
The song remembers when_

After I get Kelli all tucked in, snug as a bug in a rug, I climb into my own bed and try to go to sleep. My efforts are worthless. I toss and turn in the queen sized bed. I just can't get comfortable. Kelli and I have had the "tell me about dad" conversation a million times, but for some reason, tonight, I just can't get Elliot out of my head. Maybe it was the song I heard in the bank. I remember the first time I heard the song with Elliot. It had been the third day we'd been working undercover in Montana. We'd gotten up that morning and Elliot had declared it a great day to explore our new home. We loaded up the black GMC Envoy (nothing like being undercover) and headed for the scenic Bitterroot Valley. I called Dana, our boss while we were working undercover with the FBI, to tell her what we were doing. About thirty minutes into the trip, we were lost. Elliot assured me he knew exactly where we were. Right. He'd been to the big sky state as many times as me. Which was zero. I knew he was wrong, but that arguing would be futile, so I sat back and cranked up the radio. I knew we'd be driving for awhile.

The first song that had come on was an 80's pop song that I loved when I was in high school. I belted out the words at the top of my lungs.

"I'm gonna keeeeeeeeeeeeeep on looooooooooooooovinnnnnnnnnnn' youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, cuz it's the only thing I wanna doooooooooooo," I held my hand in front of Elliot's face like I was holding a microphone. He just stared at me. I took my microphone back and kept singing. "IIIIIIIIIIIIII don't wanna sleep, IIIIIII just wanna keep on lovin' you!"

"Benson, you're insane, you know that right?" he asked.

"Yeah yeah. Jeez, Elliot. Lighten up. Not like we're lost or anything."

"We're NOT lost, Liv. Your singing annoys me," he snapped.

"And I MEANT. Every word I said. When I said that I love you I mean that I love you forever!" I sang. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and he was grinning. Yeah. I annoyed him. Right.

"You're my best friend, you know that, right?" he asked, serious all of a sudden.

"Yeah, why?"

"Just felt like telling you."

"Okay, weirdo."

He smiled and shook his head, looking away.

The chorus came back on and I could see his lips moving. I held my fist up to his face again. "Belt it out, El. You know you want to."

He grinned slowly before opening his mouth. "I'm gonna keeeeeeeeep on looooooooooovin' youuuuuuuuuu, cuz it's the only thing I wanna doooooooo." I collapsed into a fit of giggles against the window and for a moment, totally forgot that we were lost somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.

_We were rolling through the Rockies  
We were up above the clouds  
When a station out of Jackson played that song  
And it seemed to fit the moment  
And the moment seemed to freeze  
When we turned the music up and sang along_

"Hey, wait a minute. We have one of those GPS locator things!" I point to the button on the dashboard. I push it, and a voice resonates through the vehicle.

_Onstar, this is Jess, how may I assist you?_

"We're lost," I said.

"We're not lost," Elliot responds.

_Okay, let me take a look._

"We are lost, Jess," I told the voice.

She laughed. _Is your husband with you?_

"Yes," I lie. That was our cover. We were a young married couple.

_Husbands never think they're lost._

"You must have been doing this job for a long time," I said.

_Not really. Been married six years._

I laughed. "Only been about a year for me," I say.

"The longest year of my LIFE," Elliot teases.

"Now, Jake. You don't mean that, honey," I said.

"Yes, Katie. I do," he laughed.

_Okay you two. Don't make me turn your car around._

"You can't… do that. Can you?"

She laughs again._ No, Jake. I can't. But if you go another six miles, and head west, you'll be on I-15. Where are you headed?_

"Well, we were out exploring. We just moved here," I lie. "But we came from Jackson."

_Okay. When you get to I-15, I'll give you directions back to Jackson._

"You are a lifesaver, Jess."

_That's what I'm here for Katie. Thanks for choosing Onstar._

Before I'd known it, we were back home. Elliot had sworn to me that if we went out again, we'd take a map. So much for flying by the seats of our pants.

I sigh heavily, and roll over, praying one last time that I can get some quality shut-eye before I have to get Kelli to school and get myself to the office. When I roll over, there he is. I know it's my imagination. He hasn't been there for a long time. But sometimes, I think God sends him to me and helps me fall asleep. Which I finally manage to do, imagining myself wrapped in Elliot's strong embrace.

_**A/N: So whaddya think? Gonna love it as much as The Pond? I think I already do. R&R! XO, Kinsey**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Wow! What an awesome response to chapter one! You guys rock my socks! Keep it up! R&R! XO, Kinsey**_

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine!**

**--**

The sleep I thought I got last night wasn't quality, apparently. It's only ten a.m. and I'm already wiped out. Caffeine. Must get coffee.

"Hey, Dana?" I say, sticking my head in my boss's office. She looks up and smiles her sweet southern grin. "I'm going to grab a coffee. Do you want anything?" I ask.

"Well hold up for a sec, Liv, and I'll go with you," she says. She grabs her purse out of her desk and we walk out of the office. "You look exhausted, darlin'. What's up? Kelli okay?" she asks in one breath.

I smile tiredly at her. "Yeah. I just didn't sleep all that great last night."

"Want to talk about it?" she asks gently. By this time, we're in line to order our coffee at this cute little shop called Muds and Suds. There's a Laundromat on the other side. I love my tiny Montana town. So many cool things that you just wouldn't see in the city.

I sigh heavily and turn to Dana. "Elliot?" she asks. I nod, on the verge of tears.

"What happened?" she asks, placing a gentle hand on my arm.

"Well," I pause and turn to the young girl behind the counter and order my coffee. While she's making it, I turn back to Dana. "Kelli and I were in the bank yesterday and I heard a song that made me think of him. And then last night, Kelli wanted the 'tell me about dad' story as a bedtime story."

"Oh, honey. That is rough. Which is why I know you're not going to want to hear this…" she trails off and I know exactly what she's going to say. We've had variations of this conversation a million times.

"Dana, I can't."

"Don't you think he wonders, Liv? Don't you think he would want to know? Don't you think Mr. Dad wants to meet his fourth little princess?" she asks. That's what I love about her. She delivers an ass-chewing like most people would hold polite conversation.

I take my coffee and we grab a table in the corner. "I don't think I can! I'm in too deep, Dana. It'd be different if Kelli was a baby, but she's SIX. Never _mind_ the fact that he hasn't exactly busted his ass to see me!" I whisper fiercely.

"Liv. Honey. I think you made it pretty clear to him when he left that it was over."

"That's because he left me pregnant with his baby and went running back to New York."

"Olivia. Now don't you dare make this all his fault." I open my mouth to speak but she holds up her hand to stop me. "It would be different if he had KNOWN you were pregnant."

I start to speak and she holds up her hand again, but I bust right on through this time. "You're right, Dana. He would have done the honorable thing. Stayed. Married me. Had a couple more kids. _THEN RESENTED ME FOR THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS LIKE HE DID KATHY!"_ I shout. Which makes people stare. Whoops. I blush and Dana clears her throat quietly. "Sorry," I say.

"Olivia, I can't tell you what Elliot would have done. Not even he can – you didn't give him the chance. But I think… you need to fix this. You need to make it right for Kelli. And _you_, Liv."

"I can't, Dana. Not yet."

"Liv, I think you've waited too long as it is."

"Dana, I really appreciate your concern. Honest I do. I just… I need… I don't know what I need. I don't know what to do. I really screwed this up."

"Olivia, he's going to be mad. I'm not going to lie to you. You know Elliot has a short fuse. But he loved you once. He'll understand that you thought you were doing what was best for you and Kelli."

"But that's the thing, Dana. I'm not so sure he loved me. If he loved me, he wouldn't have left me. Like everyone else."

Dana rolls her eyes at this. "Dramatic much, Benson? He did too love you. Remember the first time I met you two? I knew you loved each other back then. Never mind before I left after that case John and Fin let me in on the pool."

"What pool?" I ask, suspicious of my two former colleagues.

"The 'when are Olivia and Elliot going to get together' pool. I made a hundred bucks," Dana smirked.

I laugh. Go figure. The boys had a bet. I'm sure John lost and complained it was all a conspiracy.

"The point is, honey, you don't know how he feels until you talk to him. Like I said, I'm sure he'll be mad as a wet hen. But you need to make this right. Better now than when Kelli needs someone to walk her down the aisle," she says gently.

"Well… there's that other problem…" I say.

"The fact that you told Kelli her dad was dead?"

"Yeah. That one."

"I know," she sighs. "I didn't think that was a good idea when you _did it_, but you can't take it back now. She's six. If you're lucky she'll just be so tickled to get a daddy that she won't be too concerned that her mommy lied to her. If you want… Liv, our caseload is light, you're not actively undercover… I could approve you some time off to go to New York."

"I'll think about it, Dana, okay? No promises. We better get back to work."

"Let's go. I've got a stack of paperwork with your name on it," she teases me.

--

Sitting on the couch in my sweats and FBI tee shirt, I'm combing Kelli's hair after her shower. "Kellibean… we need to have a grown up talk."

"Okay, Mommy," she says, completely trusting of whatever I'm about to tell her.

"Kellibean… Mommy made a mistake."

"What did you do? Did you make Miss Dana mad?" she asks innocently.

_More times than I can count, honey._

"Well, yeah, sort of. But this is about me and you, Bean. Remember how we talked about how Daddy is in Heaven?" I say. How in the hell do you explain to your six year old that you lied to her when you told her her father was dead?

"Mhm. My daddy is an angel," she says proudly.

_Oh boy._

"Remember how we talked about lying? And how it's very naughty and you should never tell Mommy anything that isn't true? I lied to you Kelli. And I'm very very sorry," she's just staring at me, waiting. "Your daddy isn't an angel. He's a police officer. He's a detective, like Mommy. He doesn't live in Heaven. He lives in New York."

"That's where you used to live, Mom."

"I know. Your daddy and I used to work together. A long time ago."

"So, what does that mean?"

"Kelli, would you like to meet your daddy?" I ask, biting my lip, praying she'll say 'no, Mommy. Having you is enough. Besides you told me he was dead and I'm okay with that. I don't need a daddy.' Instead, she made my decision for me with one little word screeched at the top of her tiny lungs.

"YEAH!"

_Great._

"Okay, baby. I have to call Miss Dana to tell her we're going to go to New York. Do you want to go next week?"

"Let's go TOMORROW, Mommy!"

"I don't know if I can get us plane tickets to New York that soon, Bean. But we'll go as soon as we can, I promise, okay?"

"Okay Mommy! Yay! I get to see my daddy!"

_Crap._

--

After I have Kelli tucked in for the night, I go into the kitchen to call Dana.

"Lewis," she answered.

"Dane… we're going."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I let Kelli make the decision. Note to self, don't let your six-year-old make decisions anymore."

She laughs lightly. "When are you going?"

"Well, Kelli would like to go tomorrow. But I told her we had to get plane tickets and I didn't know if we could leave that soon."

"Sure you can. I'll pull some strings. We'll make it happen."

"Dana…"

"Olivia. Your daughter wants to meet her daddy. You're going. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Fine," I sigh, dread sitting in my stomach like a lead balloon.

--

Dana calls me back a little while later that night and tells me we're leaving the next day at noon. We'll have to drive all the way to Missoula to get to an actual airport, which is a several hour drive, but we'll be in New York by dark.

_Have I mentioned how excited I am? No? Good. I'm not._

--

_**A/N: THERE! He's not dead. Happy: ) Now don't hate me for making Olivia not tell him she was preggo. You know how I feel about angst (right Shari?)!! R&R! XO, KiNsEy**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: As always, thanks for the awesome reviews. I don't know about you guys, but I'm totally diggin' this story more than the pond – but I know what's going to happen. Mwahahaha! For those of you going "who the hell is Dana?" – remember that's Starr Morrison's real name. She was the FBI agent in RAW and then an ep earlier this season that I can't think of the name of…_**

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine! **

--   
Eight hours on a plane with a six-year-old is my new favorite form of torture. The next time I have to get information out of someone who's not cooperating and I don't have Elliot to scare them? I'm putting them on a plane with my daughter. FOR EIGHT HOURS.

"Mommy. I'm bored. Are we going to be there soon?" she asks me this for the thirty billionth time, just as the pilot is making the announcement that we're going to be landing at JFK in ten minutes. Thank you Jesus.

"Yes, Princess. We're going to be there very soon!" I say, trying to hide my lack of enthusiasm.

She buys it. "Yay, Mommy! Can we go see Daddy right away?"

_Uh, no._ "Sorry, honey. It's almost eleven at night. Daddy's probably at his house sleeping. But we'll see him soon, okay?"

"Okay, Mom," she sighs. I wonder if she can tell I'm dreading this. "Mom? Are we going to get to see any of your other New York friends? Like Casey? Or Alex? Or Melinda? Or the guys?"

I sigh to myself. This is not going to be easy. I don't really have a lot of contact with my old friends. The girls and I still send Christmas cards, but the guys… I haven't talked to them since right after Elliot went back to New York. "We'll see, baby, okay? Let's just worry about getting checked in to the hotel and getting some sleep, okay?"

"Mommy, I'm not tired," Kelli whines.

I sigh. Again. "I know, honey. That's because it's not quite nine at home. You'll be tired soon, I promise." _If I have to drug you. Whoa. Liv. Stop._ After years of dealing with parents who _do_ drug their kids, I can't believe the thought even crosses my mind. "I'm sorry I'm so crabby, babe. This was a long flight, huh?"

"Yeah," she agrees, nodding.

"Okay, then. Let's get off this smelly old plane and go get a nice hotel room, hmm?" I ask, still trying to keep my temper in check.

--

I love the Four Seasons. I love my boss for putting us in the Four Seasons. I call her as soon as I get Kelli tucked in with a stack of books to hopefully lull her off to dreamland.

"Lewis," she sounds as tired as I feel.

"Hey Dane. It's me."   
"Liv, hey sweets. Get there okay?"

"Yeah."

"Kelli like flying?"

I snort. "No. No she didn't, and to tell the truth, Dane, I didn't like flying _with_ my daughter. I'm a horrible mother."

She laughs. "She's six Liv. She can't sit still. Flying sucks at that age."

I sigh. "She wants to see Elliot. Like five minutes ago Mommy if possible."

Dana laughs again. "I had a feeling that would happen. What are you going to do?"

"Stall as long as I can?" I ask hopefully.

She gasps. "Oh my God. I don't know why this didn't occur to me sooner."

"What?"

"You're scared. You're scared because you're still in love with him."

"What?! That's crazy, Dana. I'm not still in love with him. I've had six years to get over him."

"Yeah. Six years of looking at the mini-me you two made. You're not over him, Liv."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed. I'll let you know how this all shakes out." She's right. She's right and it sucks. That's Dana Lewis for you – calls 'em like she sees 'em.

"Olivia. I want updates."

"Fine. Okay." I poke my head in the bedroom and see that Kelli is awake. "Kellibean do you want to say goodnight to Miss Dana?" She nods and I hand her my cell phone.

"Hi Miss Dana! … I don't like flying. … Yeah! Mommy says we get to see him soon! I'm soooo excited!"

_Thanks Dana. _

" I miss you! … They have a ZOO?" She holds the phone away from her face and squeals. "MOM! We have to go to the – what's it called, Miss Dana? MOM! The SINNER PARK ZOO! Miss Dana says we HAVE to go!"

"The _Central_ Park Zoo, honey. And yeah, we can do that tomorrow."

"Can Daddy come?" Kelli asks, bouncing on the bed, totally forgetting she still has my boss on the phone.

_Great. Now she's never going to sleep. _

"Tell you what, Bean. If you go to sleep like a good girl, we will go to the zoo tomorrow and if your daddy isn't BUSY, which he might be, I'll ask him if he wants to go. Deal?"

"Deal!" She puts the phone back up to her ear. "MISS DANA! I getta go to the Sinner Park Zoo with my DADDY!"

_Is that what I said? _

"Goodnight! I LOVE YOU TOO!" She hands the phone back to me and flops back down on the bed. "Out Mommy! I'm sleeping!" she says. I laugh and tell her goodnight and that I love her before closing the door behind me.

"I hate you," I whisper into the phone.

Dana laughs. "Oh c'mon. It'll be fun. Didn't you and Elliot used to take his kids to the zoo? You LOVE the zoo!"

"This is not the same thing and you KNOW it. And I do love the zoo. But I hate you right now, Dana Lewis," I tease.

She laughs again. "Hate," I say.

"Okay, Liv. I'm gonna let you go," she says, still laughing.

"Fine. Thanks for wiring up my kid. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," she giggles. "Night Liv."

"Goodnight," I sigh.

I flip my phone shut and plug it in. Settling into the soft king-sized bed, I lay back to think about what lies ahead for me and the munchkin sleeping in the next room. She'd _better_ be sleeping, anyway. Dana's right. I hate it when Dana's right. And she's not even subtle about it, either. Which also pisses me off. I'm still in love with Elliot. Dammit. That sucks. Six years. Six years and I haven't managed to move on. Good Lord I'm pathetic. I flop back in the pillows with a huff. _What am I going to do?!_ Scenarios begin to run through my head.

_Hi, Elliot. This is our daughter. Yeah. Yours and mine. Wanna go to the zoo? _

_ Hi, Elliot. Remember how you left me? Well I was pregnant! This is Kelli! Doesn't she look exactly frickin' like you? I know. I look at her every day and want to cry sometimes. _

_ Hi Elliot. I know you haven't seen me in six years, but this is your fifth child. Surprise! _

_ Hey! Elliot! Who's who? Oh this! This is Kelli! Our daughter! _

This is not going to go well. And judging by the soft snoring I can hear through the open door, it's certainly not going to be my daughter who doesn't sleep tonight.

--

"MOMMY!" The bed-head monster flops into my bed with a screech. _It must be morning._ "LET'S GO TO THE ZOO WITH DADDY!"

_I can't do this. I know what I have to do. I just need another day. _

"Okay honey. I'll call Daddy. You go take a shower okay?" I lie. Lying. To my six year old. Well. I already told her her dad is dead. What's one more?

"OKAY!" It's going to be a screechy day. I can feel it in my bones.

She zips through the shower and is dripping, wrapped in a towel in what seems like seconds.

"DID YOU CALL HIM?!"

"I did, honey. He's busy, baby. But he said he has time tomorrow!" I lie.

"Oh. Bummer," she says.

_I am the most horrible mother ever to walk the earth. _

"But if you want, I'll still go with you!" I tell her. Because I'm awful.

"Okay!" She's six. She agrees easily. She's still getting a trip to the zoo, and what's one more day without a daddy she's never known?

"Go get dressed, monkey," I tease her. "Mommy's going to take a shower. Remember the rule Kelli."

"I know, Mommy. Don't open the door for anyone. No matter who they say they are."

"That's my girl."

As I'm standing in the shower, I'm thinking about all the things I'll have to explain to St. Peter when he's deciding whether or not to let me into Heaven. Yep, that's right. I'm a Catholic. Hey. I was fake married to Elliot Stabler. We had to go to church. Anyway. I'm going to be in trouble when I get off the "Big Elevator" as I have explained it to our daughter. Our daughter. Shit. I'm already thinking of her as ours. I've thought of her as mine her whole life. God. I rinse the conditioner out of my hair and turn off the shower. Grabbing a big fluffy towel, I wrap myself up and walk into the main room to find my daughter sitting cross legged on the bed, perfectly dressed and ready, her tangled hair waiting to be combed. She's wearing jeans and sneakers, and a hot pink long sleeved tee shirt that says "My way or the highway." Dana got it for her. Go figure.

"Bean, c'mere so I can do your hair. What do you want today?" I ask.

"French braid, Mommy," she says.

I quickly braid her hair and wrap a hot pink elastic band around the end. "You're done!" I announce.

"Let's GO, Mommy!" she begs.

"Okay honey. But I have to get dressed first okay?" I smile at her. She's such a good kid, even if she is a little hyper sometimes. _Like her father._

I dress quickly in low-rise jeans and a black tee shirt, swiping on some make-up quickly before I blow my hair dry. Pulling on socks and a pair of loafers, I try to peel my daughter away from Dora on TV. "Let's go babycakes!"

"Yay!" She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the door of the hotel room. In no time at all, we're downstairs and I'm getting her buckled into her booster seat in the backseat of the rented VW Touareg and we're off to the "Sinner Park Zoo." Sigh. The Sinner Park Zoo. Where bad mommies take the daughters they lied to. I slide my sunglasses on as I pay close attention to the streets so I know where I'm going. I'm amazed at how quickly my New York driving skills come back to me. Only I can't lean out the window and holler. I'm a Mommy now. Mommies don't yell at other motorists and they certainly don't flip the bird.

"Wow, Mommy," Kelli breathes in amazement at all the buildings in the city.

"Pretty cool, huh princess?"

"Does my daddy work in one of these buildings?" she asks.

"Yeah. It's a ways from here though. It's called One Police Plaza," I say.

"Wow. That sounds important, Mom."

"It's very important baby. The work that your dad does is very very important." The only reason I even have this information for her is because the Christmas cards I get from the girls every year always have an update on Elliot (they like to torture me). I know he still works SVU.

I drive a little longer and soon we're at the zoo. I pay to get us in and we start walking around. Kelli is amazed at all of the exotic wildlife, and I have to admit, I feel a little guilty I'm making Elliot miss out on this. The only wildlife Kelli's ever seen are cows. And horses. And antelope. Which is more than she would have seen if she'd lived in New York City, but still. It's amazing to see her face.

"MOM! THEY HAVE MONKEYS!" I laugh at my daughter and her monkey face.

"I have a monkey too, I think," I say.

"Mom! I'm not a monkey! I'm a Kellibean!" she giggles.

"You _are_ my Kellibean," I smile at her. I take her hand as she continues dragging me through the zoo. I forgot how huge this thing is. Before I know it, we've been walking for two hours and are barely halfway through the zoo.

"Mom, I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat?"

"Sure baby," I wander to a map to see where we are in comparison to the cafe. I look at the map in my hand and back up at the directory. One of these has got to be outdated, but which one? "Hang on, Kelli bean, it'll be just a second." I glance down to where my daughter… is not standing. "Kelli?" I ask. I look around, dread and panic rising in my throat. All my years of working SVU and FBI this is my greatest fear. And the one thing I swore would never happen to me. Where is she?!

All of a sudden I hear her scream. "MOMMY! MOMMY!" I glance around to see where it's coming from and see my daughter… in the arms of someone I don't know. I take off running towards him, screaming my daughter's name the whole way. I bust through crowds of people, sprinting until I think my heart will beat out of my chest in a combination of the running and sheer panic. I'm running and running, but it feels like my legs won't move fast enough. Just as I'm about to catch him, the man jumps in the back of a van and the driver takes off. With my daughter.

"Oh my God!" I scream. "My baby! HE TOOK MY BABY!!" I try to compose myself enough to flip into cop mode. But I don't work here anymore. I can't just call the 1-6. I have to call 911 just like everyone else. I pull out my cell phone and dial quickly.

"911, this is Vanessa. What is your emergency?" the calm voice on the other end asks me. Good. At least one of us is calm.

"I'm at the Central Park Zoo. A man just took my daughter!" I cry.

"Okay, ma'am. I need you to try to calm down. What's your name?"

"Olivia Benson. My daughter's name is Kelli! She's 6 years old. She's about 3 and a half feet tall! Um, 50 pounds. Brown hair in a French braid. Blue eyes! Blue jeans, hot pink tee shirt and white sneakers. Please hurry," I beg.

"Okay ma'am. Thank you for the details."

"Old habits die hard," I say, trying to distract myself. "I used to be an SVU detective."

"Okay, Ms. Benson. Where are you right now?"

"I'm by the directory, right by the lion's den," I explain.

"Okay. I've got an officer and an SVU detective on the way. Do you want me to stay with you until they arrive?"

"No. I'm okay. Thank you. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," she says and the line goes dead.

I pace around for a while; before it dawns on me that maybe someone saw his face. I start asking people, but I'm getting such varied descriptions that I know there isn't any way any of them got a good look. I write it all down anyway to see what the sketch artist might come up with, along with names and phone numbers if we need more information.

"Olivia! Liv!" I can hear him before I can see him. I glance around frantically, looking to see where his voice is coming from.

"ELLIOT!"

--

**_A/N: Didn't see THAT coming did you? The kidnapping thing anyway… R&R my sweets! XO, Kinsey Jo!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Who wants to help me kick the site in the head? I'm a little irritated. I want to update every day for you guys, but if I can't upLOAD, I can't upDATE. What a pain!! Anyway, on with chapter three! R&R! XO, Kinsey J _**

--

I fly into his arms as he wraps me into a bear hug, muttering about how we're going to find the son of a bitch who took my daughter as he's smoothing his hand over my hair.

"Elliot, we have to find her," I bawl into his shoulder. He's here. I can cry. He's so good at holding me while I c   
"We'll find her Liv. We'll find her. Munch and Fin are looking through every database we have right now. We're going to get the bastard. I promise you."

"Elliot, don't make a promise you can't keep."

"Olivia. He is not going to get away with her. I swear to you. We will find him. Let's get you to the station house."

I nod in agreement and we start walking for his car, his arm wrapped securely around me.

"Liv…" he begins. _Oh boy_. This man was my best friend for over ten years, my fake husband for two years, and… is… the father of my child. I know exactly where this is going.

"I don't want to talk about it, right now, okay? I _will_ tell you the story. But let's find her first," I whisper.

"You got it, Liv. Whatever you want," he says, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. We get to his unmarked SUV and I climb in the passenger side, totally numb. Five minutes ago I was freaking out, and now I can't feel anything but a dull ache and I'm not really sure where it's coming from. Please, God, let her be okay. Elliot jogs around the front of the SUV and climbs in the driver's side. Buckling his seat belt quickly, he throws it in drive and takes off for the station house. Where I'll have a lot of explaining to do.

--

"Liv! We got a hit on a van matching the description you gave," Fin announces to me as I walk in the door of the 1-6. It's like I never left.

"Great! Take John and go check it out," Captain Cragen directs, walking out of his office. "Welcome back, Olivia. I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances," he says, pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks, Don. Me too," I say, hugging him back.

"So what's your husband do?" Don asks bluntly. He knows. I know he knows.

"I'm not actually married. Just me and Kelli," I say, blushing. This is awkward.

"Do you have a recent picture of Kelli?" Elliot asks gently. Well. If anyone sees what I see when I look at her, they're going to have this figured out in an instant. I dig my checkbook out of my purse and pull out her school picture, plus one of her cheesy grinning face when she lost a tooth.

"This one was from last fall at school, and this one was about a week ago," I explain. Waiting. Waiting for them to notice. Waiting to be found out. Elliot gasps. Here we go.

"She's beautiful, Liv. She looks just like her mom," he says.

_And her dad. But thanks for not saying anything. _

Don takes the pictures from Elliot and stares at my daughter. He looks at me, his eyes trailing to Elliot quickly and back to me. "He's right, Liv. She's gorgeous. Looks just like you."

"Thanks guys," I say quietly.

"I'm going to go send these out. I sent out a teletype already, we've got everyone in the tri-state looking for Kelli, Liv. We're going to find her," Don assures me, walking back into his office to make some calls.

"Thank you."

"Want to go grab some coffee and then go see what we can find around the park?" Elliot asks.

I nod, following him back out of the precinct.

--

"Are you mad?" I ask, taking a slow sip of my latte.

"Yeah. I am. But we need to concentrate on finding our daughter. And we'll talk about everything else when we find her."

"I'm sorry, Elliot. And for what it's worth, that's why I'm here. Dana talked me into it."

"You should have come six years ago."

It scares me how calm he is. Elliot's not calm. He's a screamer. He's a rager. He should be yelling at me, and it's almost more frightening that he's not.

"I know that," I say. "I could have prevented this."

"That's not what I'm saying, Olivia, and you know it."

"It's what_ I'm_ saying, Elliot. If I had told you… told you about Kelli… we wouldn't be here now. This wouldn't have happened. I could have prevented it as recently as this morning," I mutter.

"What do you mean?"

I sigh. "I lied to our daughter Elliot. It feels like I lie to her a lot, lately. This morning… well… last night… I called Dana to tell her we got here okay, and Kelli was telling her goodnight and Dana was telling her about the zoo… Kelli asked me if her daddy could come… I told her why we were here. She knows we're here to meet you… I told her I'd call this morning. She got in the shower… and I didn't call. When she got out, I told her I had called and that you were busy. But that we'd see you tomorrow…" I finish, tears welling in my eyes again.

"You know I love her already," he says.

"I know. And she loves you."

"How did you explain to her why I wasn't in her life?"

Crap. The big lie. I mumble under my breath what I'd told her.

"What?" he asks. I know he heard me. My lie is so ridiculous I know he's just asking because he can't believe what he heard.

"I told her you were dead."

"Olivia!" There's the screamer I know. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"That you didn't love me. That if I'd told you, and you _did stay, _you would only stay out of obligation."

"OLIVIA ANNE. What would possess you to think something like that?!"

I shrug. "Would you have stayed?"

"I don't know," he says. "I wanted to... but we were just supposed to be on a short undercover. And it took two years. And I had four kids here I had to think about," he says. "I loved you, Olivia, but I have an obligation to them."

Loved. Past tense. He loved me. As in doesn't anymore, as in time to get over him, Liv. Move on. That's what I need to hear. Not what I want to hear, mind you, but what I need.

"You know, you could have come back with me," he says. "We could have raised Kelli here."

"Elliot… I… I know. And maybe we should have. But I didn't. And we didn't. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," the tears overflow and I'm sobbing. Elliot pulls into a space by the zoo and puts the SUV in park.

"I'm sorry too, Liv. I… This is all just so much. I mean, this is my job, but it's different because she's your daughter, and then I see this picture, and it becomes even more… something… because she's _my_ daughter," he pauses and I glance up to see tears in his bright blue eyes.

"Do you want Cragen to take you off the case?" I ask.

"No," he whispers. "I have to find my daughter. I have to. I need to have the chance to be her dad. It's selfish… and I know I'm too close… to the case…" he trails off.

"It isn't selfish, Elliot. I took that chance away from you. But I want to make it right. Like I said, that's why we're here. I _was_ going to see you. Eventually," I mutter.

"Yeah. I know. Let's find our baby," he says, smiling gently at me.

I nod my agreement and he pulls back out of the parking lot and we start driving in the direction I'd seen the van head with our daughter.

--

"Stabler," he answers his beckoning cell phone a little while later. "Shit… yeah. I know… you guys tried. I know… We'll find her, Fin… yeah she's right here with me… hold on." He hands me his cell phone. "Fin," he says.

"Hey Fin," I say, trying to force a smile into my voice.

"Hey girl. I'm sorry. We lost the van."

"It's okay. You guys tried. Remember I used to be here. I know how hard it is."

"I know, Liv. It's just… damn, I just want to find her. For you and…"

"For me and Elliot. Yeah, I know, Fin."

"We'll find her, Liv. I promise."

"Thanks Fin. Call if you know anything. Let me give you my cell number," I rattle off my number for him.

"Okay. We'll be in touch, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you," I reply.

"He knows?"

"He knows." I pause. "Who could look at those eyes and that chin and _not_ know?" I smile.

He laughs. "She does kinda look like me."

"I know."

"She looks like you too, Liv. She's a good mix of both of us. She's beautiful," he says, his voice cracking just a little.

"We'll find her, Elliot. She's somewhere…" my voice trails off as I too, start to cry.

"Okay. We need to get our dream team hats on," he laughs. "Pull it together, Benson."

I smile tearfully. "Okay Stabler. You got it."

--

Ten o'clock. She's been gone almost twelve hours and we've got nothing. The guys have been chasing down false leads all day. I've been sitting on my ass at the station, worrying, and looking through database upon database.

"Liv, honey, you need to go get some sleep," Cragen informs me.

"I'm good, Cap," I say, though I know I'm exhausted.

"Sleep, Olivia. We've got officers chasing all over looking for her. You can take a couple hours to sleep."

"I… Captain…"

"You. Need. Sleep. I'm sending Stabler with you."

"Okay," I agree weakly, just as Elliot walks in.

"Okay, what?" he asks.

"You and Liv are going to get some shut eye. No arguments," the captain responds.

"Cap, I--"

"Did you not hear me say no arguments, Stabler?"

"But, Kelli…"

"Elliot." Don looks around the squad room and sees that the three of us are the only ones here. "We'll find your daughter. Take Olivia and go get some rest."

"Okay," Elliot gives in. "Ready?" he asks me.

"Um, yeah. Let me grab my bag." I gather my purse, my mind whirring the whole time. Mostly about finding Kelli, but a little bit about Elliot. And how I really don't want to be alone tonight. I won't sleep if I can't hear snoring. She gets that from him. I need him to stay with me. I need to fall asleep in his arms and know that everything is going to be okay in the morning. This is all a dream. I'm going to wake up. At home. In Jackson. With my daughter. Without Elliot. That part makes me a little sad. I didn't realize how good it was going to feel to see him.

We're in the Tahoe now, headed for the Four Seasons. It dawns on me that I haven't called Dana to tell her what happened. I pull out my cell phone and quickly speed-dial her number.

"Lewis."

"Dane?" I burst into tears.

"Olivia! Honey, what's the matter?!"

I can't compose myself and I hand the phone to Elliot.

"Star?" He asks. He's about the only person that calls her by her undercover alias. "Hey, it's Elliot. Look, um, Kelli… Kelli was kidnapped." Elliot holds the phone away from his ear and I can hear my boss shrieking at the top of her lungs. I almost laugh. She's yelling at him like it's his fault. "Star… Star… DANA. Calm down… they were at the zoo… Liv had her eye off Kelli for a second… you know how it happens. It can happen to anyone… someone took her. Yeah… We're following every lead we get, but they're all dead-ending… it was obviously a stranger since no one knew Liv was coming out here. It just sucks... Yeah… she told me… well. I saw a picture. I knew… yeah. I can't wait to meet her," a huge grin spreads across his handsome face as I finally manage to get my sobbing under control. I motion for him to give me the phone back. "Here's Liv," he says, surrendering my cell phone.

"Hi Dane," I say.

"Honey! I'm so sorry! What a horrible way for Elliot to find out!"

"I know," I sniffle.

"It'll be okay, Liv. You know if anyone can find her, her daddy can," she whispers. I sneak a glance over at Elliot who's watching the road and also glancing back at me periodically.

"I know. Her dad's a great guy," I smile. He reaches over and takes my hand and puts it on his thigh, our fingers tangled together.

_Oh boy. _

--

**_A/N: What do you guys think? The smut is totally on the horizon. You can just SMELL it, can't you? My little bloodhounds. You'll have to wait a bit longer, I think I'm going to make the next chapter from Kelli's POV. I looooooove writing in the first person, present tense. I'm sure it bugs the hell out of some people and I can't read regular books written like that (they drive me nuts) but with this… I don't know. I like it! Let me know what you think! I need to draw this out a little longer, so if you have any flashes of brilliance, let me know!! XO, Kinsey J!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: I decided instead of just doing this from Kelli's POV, it's going to be hers and the kidnapper's. Hers will be plain font, with her thoughts in italics like always, and the kidnapper will be bold. Make sense? Hope so. Also, to add more confusion, there will be a little drabble at the end in Don's POV. Hope that makes sense too! Sorry this took so long tonight... last one for the week! R&R! XO, KJ _**

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine. **

--

I'm scared. I want my mommy. I don't know where I am. I don't know who this man is. He's not mean, but I miss my mommy. And I want my daddy. My daddy is a detective. His work is very important. Mommy told me. I'm sitting on the couch. I don't know how long I've been here. I'm learning how to tell time, but I don't know when I got here. My Hello Kitty watch said it was ten in the morning when we got to the zoo. I don't know how long we were there. It was dark outside. I slept on the couch. It's light again now and my watch says it's ten a.m. again. I'm so bored. I thought I was bored on the airplane. This is boringer. I have to hold very still, the man is back.

"Hey," he says. He's not mean. But I don't know who he is, and that scares me.

**She's a cute kid this one. Hot mom too. **

"Hi," I say quietly.

"Is your mommy's name Olivia?" he asks me.

**I ask her if her mom is Olivia. The name of the woman on TV pleading with me to return the baby I stole from the Central Park Zoo yesterday. **

I just sit there. I don't want to say. I shouldn't say. I don't know him. He's a stranger. I shouldn't have even talked to him as much as I have. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

"Your mommy was on TV today. She says your name is Kelli," he says.

I sit and stare at him some more. Yes. My name is Kelli. Yes. My mommy is Olivia. I answer all his questions in my head to be nice. And to give myself something to do. He had a coloring book for me. I already colored every picture in it. This is so boring.

**I tell her I know her name. Still she sits and stares at me. Not really like she's scared of me, which she has no reason to be. I haven't been anything but nice to her. More like she's bored. I don't blame her. This _is_ boring. It's like babysitting. Why did I think kidnapping would be a good idea? I just need some quick cash. Ransom is a good way to make money. **

"Your mommy misses you a lot, Kelli."

"Then let me go home," I whine. Remembering that I'm not supposed to talk to him, I shut my mouth again.

"Well I'd love to, Kelli. But I need something from you first."

"What?" I ask. Oops. Talking again.

"You're going to get me some money," he says.

_How am I going to do that_? I wonder to myself since I can't talk to him.

**I can tell she doesn't understand what I'm asking her for. What six-year-old understands ransom? **

"I'm going to let you talk to your mommy," he says. "And I'm going to tell her I will bring you back if she gives me a whole shitload of money."

**She flinches at the word "shitload." Poor innocent kid. Mom's probably a kindergarten teacher. **

He's not supposed to say words like that. I hope he knows it, too. I hope his mom yells at him for it. Mine would. Mine would put him in jail.

He walks away, and comes back a minute later with a phone in his hand. He dials some numbers and starts talking to the person on the other end.

**I call Crimestoppers and some guy picks up. Sounds black. **

"I have her. Kelli. I have her. I want to talk to the mother."

_Please, Mommy_. I pray. Please come get me.

**The black guy hands the phone off to some old man. "Who the hell is this and what have you done with my granddaughter?" he asks. **

**"Who the hell is _this_? I asked to speak to the mother, old man." **

**"Well you're talking to me now. Where's Kelli?" **

**"She's right here. Talk to her." **

He hands me the phone. "Hello?" I say. "Mommy? Mommy, can you come get me?"

"Honey, my name is Don. I'm a police officer. I know your Mommy and Daddy. They're very worried about you Kelli. We're going to come get you as soon as we can, honey. Are you okay? Has he hurt you at all?" he asks me.

"Yes. I'm okay. He hasn't hurt me. I want my mommy," I can feel myself start to cry, but I'm trying to be brave like Mommy would want me to be.

"Honey, I'm going to get your mommy to you soon, I promise. I need you to talk to me a little longer, okay?"

"Okay." The man is walking away. Going to where he told me the bathroom was if I needed it.

"Can you tell me about where you are? Is the man there? Just say yes if he is, Kelli, and no if he isn't."

I look up and the man is still gone. "No," I say.

"Okay, good. Did you see where he went?"

"To the bathroom, I think," I say.

"Okay. Okay, good honey. Good. Are there any windows? Kelli, I need you to go look out the window and tell me what you see," the policeman says.

I get up from where I'm sitting on the couch and go to the window. "Lots of really tall buildings. When I look right outside I see the sidewalk. And a bench."

"Okay. Can you read the bench honey? Is there a sign on it? Can you tell me what it says?"

"Yeah, I can read it," I say.

"Good girl. Tell me what the bench says."

"McDonald's. It has the arches on it."

"Shit," the policeman says.

"That's a bad word," I tell him.

"I know, honey. I'm sorry. Okay. Can you see anything else?"

"There's a van. The van the man took me in," I say.

"Kelli, can you see the license plate?" he asks.

"No."

**I come back out of the bathroom and Kelli is still on the phone. Having herself a lengthy chat with the man who claims to be her grandfather. She better not have told him anything important. I take the phone from her. **

**"Okay. You know she's okay now. Let's talk about money." **

**"What do you want?" he asks. **

**"Ten grand. Bring it in a brown paper bag to the subway station on 36th." **

**"When?" **

--

I take a quick glance at my watch. It's ten a.m. Elliot and Liv are out chasing down a lead. We put Liv on TV today to plead for Kelli's safe return. I just talked to the guy who claims to be Kelli's kidnapper. He'd better be on the up and up. You know. For a guy who steals little girls from zoos. I haven't ever talked to my granddaughter before today, but I can feel it in my bones. It's her.

The kidnapper wants Liv to meet him at the subway station on 36th, with ten grand in a paper bag. I can tell he's not a very experienced criminal. He didn't say anything about no cops or unmarked bills. Usually that's their first request. And he wants them to meet him at noon. The subway station should be teeming with people. I'm sending Elliot with her. Fin ordered a dump on the phone. The guy did one smart thing – called from a pre-paid cell. Dammit. Hopefully he keeps being stupid. We need to get Kelli. I'd send a uniform over there right now, but the bastard didn't let me talk to her long enough to track where the phone was.

Elliot and Olivia have a daughter. I've always thought of Liv like a daughter. I'm somebody's grandpa. And now I need to find that somebody and get her back to her mommy. And put the son of a bitch who took her in jail.

--

**_A/N: Don't hate me. I'm not thrilled with this chapter but I wasn't sure how else to do it. Review it and tell me how much you love it even if you're lying, okay:-) Super short, cliffhanger AND you don't get your smut until next week… be good kids!! R&R XO, Kinsey! _**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: I'm so glad you guys liked Friday's chapter (and that you weren't lying!!)… obviously I have never planned a kidnapping, so I would have to make him THE dumbest kidnapper ever. Because, um, that's what I would be. So. Yeah. Anyway. Okay, so this chapter is actually before Chapter 5 in the timeline of things. I just wanted to torture you and make you wait for the smut. By the way… for those of you who didn't notice… I jacked the rating to M. As in Mwhahaha! It's gonna get warm in here… **_

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine. **

--

"Will you come up?" I ask quietly. I'm staring down at our hands, still resting together on his thigh.

"Yeah," he responds simply. I look up into his beautiful blue eyes and find myself automatically smiling. He just does that to me.

He parks next to the Touareg we'd gone and gotten from the park earlier and pulls the keys out of the ignition. I smile sadly at the loss of contact from his hand. He gets out of the Tahoe and comes around to my door and opens it for me. He always did stuff like that when we were "married." He said I deserved it. It still makes me tingle. Oh. Right. Because I'm still in love with him. Dammit.

I take the hand he offers and we walk up to the building. It's late so there are not very many people in the lobby. We ride in silence on the elevator up to the sixth floor, lost in our own thoughts and worries about our daughter. I step off the elevator, Elliot right behind me, our hands still clasped tightly together. It's my security blanket right now. I slide the plastic key in the door lock and it clicks open. As soon as I'm inside, I want to start bawling. It's just how we left it. Coloring books and story books spread from hell to breakfast, a pile of hair stuff on the bathroom sink, about thirty billion tiny pairs of shoes in the closet.

Elliot pulls me into his arms and I lay my head on his chest as sobs wrack my body. "Shhh… it's okay… we're going to find her… shhh… Liv…" he murmurs my name over and over as I cry. He scoops me off the ground and carries me into the master bedroom. He pulls back the huge down comforter and lays me in the bed. He pulls off my shoes and drops them on the floor. Toeing off his own shoes, he climbs in behind me and wraps his arms around my body. I never lied to Kelli when I told her that her daddy's hug was the safest place in the world. I can feel myself relax little by little, just by him holding me and whispering in my ear.

"Tell me about her," he says.

"Her full name is Kelli Serena Benson. Her nickname is Kellibean," I say. "She's so sweet, El. She's bright, and funny, but math is giving her a hell of a time."

"Just like her sister," he murmurs.

"Yep. I'm already not looking forward to the algebra days," I laugh softly. "Addition is okay. Subtraction? Sucks. I don't remember first grade being so tough."

He laughs. "It's been a long time since you were there," he says.

I look over my shoulder at him. "Are you calling me old, Stabler?"

"Never," he laughs. "What else? What does she like to do?"

"She loves to play games. She likes Sorry. And Trouble. And I've played more Hungry Hungry Hippos in the past six years then I think I have in my entire life." I smile, thinking about our daughter's collection of board games.

"What about Clue?"

"Elliot. She's six. Don't turn her into a detective until she's at least ten," I tease.

"Sorry, reflex," he laughs. He tightens his arms around me and I just want to lay here like this forever. I want to find the monster that has our baby and then I want us to be a family. Wow. That's a pretty scary thought for a woman who was dreading telling her daughter's father that said daughter existed.

"Tell me about the other kids," I say.

"Well. Maureen is a doctor."

"Wow!"

"Yep. The girl who couldn't quite master algebra saves lives," he chuckled. "I'm pretty proud of her."

"I bet."

"Katie is in law school. She wants to be a district attorney."

"A prosecutor? Katie?"

"Well. She _wanted_ to be a public defender. But then she got worried she might come up against Casey someday. And that scared her straight."

"Oh my gosh. Can you imagine? All I can see is the little blonde girl pitching a fit in the middle of the station house when you wouldn't let her date that boy."

"Yeah. And if she pitched a fit in court I'm pretty sure Case would just roll her eyes and get her ass hauled outta there in a hurry. But she's actually done really well. Top of her class at Yale."

"Wow. And the twins?"

"_Richard,_" he pauses, and I giggle at this. I wondered how long it would take before he put the kibosh on being called Dickie. "Richard is actually going to school in California. Cal Poly. Met a sweetheart of a girl – her name's Rachel. She's a couple years older than him-- really nice girl. He's going into architecture."

I laugh. "What about Liz?" I ask.

"Lizzie's going to be a kindergarten teacher. She's student teaching in Alaska right now. With the amount of money she'll make if she stays in Alaska, she can retire in seven years. My daughter will be eligible to retire the year after me."

"Good lord, Stabler. Kids have been eating their wheaties apparently?" I tease.

"Yep. And somehow Kath and I are paying for it all."

"How _is_ Kathy?" I ask.

"She's good. She got married. He's a really nice guy. His name is Steve Davenport. He was the girls' basketball coach in high school. He's home every night for dinner. There all weekend unless there's a game, but Kathy goes to every one of them anyway. He's really mellowed her out."

"Wow. It's amazing how much things change in a few years. I can't believe your kids are all grown up, old man," I laugh softly.

He tickles my sides. "You hush. I've still got one more baby to raise," he says quietly.

I roll onto my other side to face him, still wrapped in his embrace. "I really do want you to be part of her life. She's so excited to meet you," my voice cracks as a tear slides down my cheek.

"Liv, you have no idea how excited I am to meet her," he says. "As soon as we find her, we're having some quality family bonding time."

"I'd like that," I whisper, my eyes drifting shut.

"And on that note," he kisses my forehead gently. "I'm going to go crash in the other bedroom."

I put out my arm to stop him. "Stay," I say.

"You sure?"

I nod my head. "I just need you to hold me," I say, my eyes welling up with tears again.

He stands up and shucks his jeans and polo shirt and lies back down next to me.

"I'm going to put on some sweats," I say, pushing myself out of the bed. I walk over to the closet and quickly lose my jeans and top in favor of a black FBI tee shirt and hot pink cotton pajama pants. As I'm unhooking my bra, I hear Elliot clear his throat. I look over my shoulder and smile. "We have a kid, Stabler. Nothing you haven't seen before."

He laughs nervously. "I guess not," he says, blushing. I roll my eyes and climb back into bed beside him. He re-wraps me in his embrace and strokes the back of my head. "This is nice," he says.

"Mhm," I agree. Very nice. Almost too nice. I just need to forget for a little while. Forget about the horrors of the world and that the NYPD is currently searching for my baby daughter. _Our_ baby daughter.

--

There's this dream I have sometimes. It usually comes when I've fallen asleep with the image of Elliot beside me. In the dream, I wake up (which is a horrible way for a dream to happen, because you wake up in the dream and you _think_ it's reality and then you wake up FOR REAL. It sucks.) and he's there. His hands are all over my body. We're totally naked and he's kissing every inch of my skin. We make out like a couple of crazy teenagers for awhile… I can't even count the number of times I orgasm before he's even inside me… and then we're making love… and it's amazing. I love this man with every fiber of my being, and in my dream, he loves me too. We have a perfect life, and a perfect daughter, and I'm sure we even have a perfect dog sleeping out in the kitchen. And every time I have this dream, the sex is better. More perfect. But every time, as it happens with dreams… I wake up. It's over. I'm awake, I'm a single mom, and the perfect man is thousands of miles away.

I'm having the dream again, which is a real bitch since I have Elliot here. I'm in his arms and I'm dreaming about being in his arms. How ridiculous is that? Today, I convince myself that I'm dreaming but I'm going to relax and enjoy it. Knowing that I'll wake up eventually, but not caring. His hands run through my hair and my scalp tingles at the touch of his fingers. He kisses me softly, once, twice, tempting me to open my mouth a little to let his tongue through. I do and it's bliss. His tongue runs over mine, softly touching and teasing. I reach out to get a tighter hold on him, maybe in an effort to wake myself up before I go so far that I'll end up monumentally disappointed when I wake up for real, and he's just lying there, his arms around me, protecting me as a friend. When I pull him closer, I can feel his erection between my thighs. It's so… real. My eyes fly open and I know I'm awake. Awake for real. But we're still kissing. Kissing and touching. His eyes are closed and he's murmuring my name. "Olivia… Olivia… Liv… Oh Liv…"

What should I do? Don't answer that. I know what I _should_ do. I _should _wake him up. Tell him he was dreaming. But you know what? I don't really feel like it. Besides. He seems to be really enjoying himself, judging by the part of him that's trying extra…_hard_ to get close to me.

I close my eyes again and continue kissing him. His hands are roaming over my bare back… and my eyes fly open again.

_When did I get naked?_ I didn't seriously strip in my sleep… _did I? _

I nestle closer to him, and he's kissing my face. Kissing down my neck to my collarbone. My weak spot. He knows it. It's a path he's traveled a million times before, and a million more than that in my dreams. I whisper his name, like it's a secret I don't want anyone to know. "Elliot… Oh Elliot…" His eyes open to me murmuring his name and he looks up at me, as if he wants permission to continue. Is he awake? Like really, truly, awake? Or just in that weird limbo where you're sort of awake but later when someone asks you "do you remember talking to me this morning? I called you and we talked for ten minutes," you have no clue what they're talking about. His eyes clear and I can tell he's truly awake. "Olivia," he begins.

"Don't stop," I beg.

He doesn't. He keeps kissing me, working his way down my chest to my breasts, kissing them gently, reverently, and not leaving an inch of their soft skin un-kissed. His fingers brush against my stretch marks, my war wounds from bringing our nine pound squalling baby into the world. Six years later and they're still there. I self-consciously suck in my stomach, and he looks up at me. "Don't," he says. He leaves my breasts and kisses down to my stomach, tenderly moving his mouth up and down each of my war wounds. His hands move south, just grazing over me. Teasing me. He slides a finger inside me and chuckles softly. "You're so wet," he whispers. This is so much better in the dream. In the dream there's no talking. Especially no talking like this. His thumb brushes against my clit and my head is about to blow off my shoulders from how fast my heart is racing. He pushes another finger inside me and pulls them slowly out. He brings them to his mouth and slowly licks them off. I don't know if it's his reverence, or the fact that he's doing something I would normally consider down right pornographic, but something abut the gesture makes me lose my mind. I'm falling, only I'm not dreaming and I know he'll be there to catch me before I hit bottom. My hands fist in the sheets as my hips buck off the bed of their own volition and I choke out a strangled cry.

He's kissing his way back up my body until he gets to my lips. We kiss slowly and sweetly and he looks at me, his blue eyes clouded with lust. "Elliot," I whisper. "Make love to me."

"Anything. Anything you want," he murmurs in my ear. He shifts over me, bracing his weight on his impressive arms, his hands on either side of my head, his lips kissing in slow patterns on my shoulder and chest. In one swift slide, he's inside me and I know I'm not dreaming. This is too good to even be a dream. I must be dead and this must be Heaven. He pulls out, almost all the way, and the plunges back in. "You feel so good," he whispers. "Wrapped around me like this. I missed you so much, Liv. I missed us so very much."

"Me too," I whisper, feeling tears welling up. This is so damn perfect that it's going to make me cry. I blink the tears back and try to concentrate. I trail my fingers up and down his muscular back. He's never stopped working out, and it shows. When we made the transition from "married" to lovers and we saw each other naked for the first time, I just wanted to lay there and stare at him. He's so amazing. Just to look at. I turn my head and place a gentle kiss on the USMC tattoo on his right forearm. I can't get over what an amazing man he is. What an amazing father he's been to his four kids, and what a wonderful daddy he will be to Kelli. "Elliot…" I say.

"What, baby?" He's still stroking in and out of me, in an effort to draw out the pleasure as long as he can.

"I… I think… I think I'm falling in love with you again," I say it in a rush. I can't help myself. I want to scream it from every rooftop in New York City. I LOVE ELLIOT STABLER!

_I don't want to get over him. _

_Well. Maybe. Once I'm done being under him. _

I laugh to myself at the thought.

"You tell me you love me and that's funny to you?" he asks.

"I'm sorry, am I breaking your concentration, Detective?" I tease back.

"Not a bit," he pushes into me, all the way, and I'm seeing stars. The kind where your body is just so blissed out that all you can see is black and periodic flashes of light. That's how it's always been with Elliot. And if he feels the same way… how it'll always be.

He hammers into me, one more time, as a guttural cry is ripped from his lungs. He collapses on top of me, and starts to roll to his back, muttering something about being too heavy for me. I hold him in place, I love how he feels right here. The security of his six-foot, two-hundred pound frame resting on top of me is something I won't pass up.

"Olivia?" he asks.

"What?" I respond. I don't even care that he hasn't said he loved me back. It feels so good just to say it. To say it, and know it, and feel it. I love him.

"I never _stopped_ loving you."


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Okay you guys, not going to lie, I was a little disappointed with the reviews for the last chapter. It's like you all went and read the second chapter of "Need" and then came and read Chapter Six of "Remember" and it wasn't quite dirty enough for you! You bad girls!! Hee! Anyway, thank you as always for the reviews, it just made me laugh that the smut I made you wait so long for you were kinda like "eh. Whatever." Anyway! On with Chapter Seven! **_

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine! And Kelli. She's a keeper, isn't she?**

--

My phone rang, jarring me out of the most amazing dream ever. Elliot. Naked. Licking every inch of my body until I screamed his name at the top of my lungs.

"Benson," I answer, snuggling deeper into the sheets until my foot hit something. Something muscle-y. Something that felt like a leg. I glanced over my shoulder to see Elliot dead asleep. And totally naked. Well. Apparently it wasn't a dream. Ahem.

"Liv, it's Fin."

"Fin, what's up?" I asked groggily, slapping around on the nightstand for my watch.

"I'm sorry to wake you up so early. But Cap thinks we should put you on TV."

"Okay. Didn't get anything last night, huh?" I ask sadly, glancing at the time. 7am.

"Not a damn thing. Sorry baby."

I sighed heavily. "It's okay. We'll find her. And when we find _him_…"

"We'll stick him and Kelli's daddy in the interrogation room and let them… talk." Fin finished.

I laughed lightly. "And her Uncle Fin too maybe?"

"Yeah, I'll take a run at the bastard."

"For sure. We'll be down there in a little while, okay?"

"Sounds good, Liv. Elliot with you?"

"Yeah. You want to talk to him?"

"Not if he's uh… busy."

"He's not. Hang on," I laugh.

I kiss Elliot's neck softly, licking my way up to his ear. "Elliot, "I whisper.

"Mmm?" he responds groggily.

"I _need_ you," I whisper again.

"I'm here, baby. Why don't you tell me what you need?" his eyes open and a sleepy smile crosses his face.

"I… need you…" I run my hand below the sheets and drift my fingers over his already impressive erection. "to talk to Fin while I go take a shower," I say with a grin.

His smile drops completely. "You are an evil, wretched, witch, Olivia Benson," he mutters with a grin, taking my phone out of my hand. I giggle as I haul naked ass for the bathroom. "Stabler," I hear him say grumpily as I shut the door, still laughing softly. I take a look at myself in the mirror. Whoa. I look like night of the living dead. My hair is a disaster. My skin is covered in sheet marks and tiny purple bruises. Hickeys. He gave me hickeys. Like under the fucking bleachers at a high school football game. Good lord. I smile to myself, shaking my head as I turn the water on full blast in the shower. Just thinking about Elliot, naked in my bed, makes me feel like everything is going to turn out okay. If God let me have Elliot back, even for a night, I can't help but think all will be right in the world. It's sappy, I know, but my baby is missing. I have to take shreds of hope where I can find them.

I let the water wash over me and tame my unruly hair. It's only a few seconds before I hear the door open.

"Need any help?" Elliot asks.

"Nah, I'm good," I tease.

"Are you sure?" he asks, sounding slightly surprised.

I play on. "Yeah. I'm sure."

The shower curtain moves back to reveal a very naked and ready-to-rumble Detective Stabler. "Sure, sure?" he asks.

"Oh get in here you big baby," I giggle.

He steps in the shower and wraps his arms around me. "We're going to find her today, Liv. I can feel it."

"Think so?" I ask.

"Know so," he says.

"Then what happens?"

"What do you mean?"

"When we go. Back to Montana. Our home is there. Kelli's school is there. Our whole life. It's in Montana. Kelli's never known anything else."

Elliot kisses the back of my neck softly. "I don't know, baby. We'll figure something out. I promise," he says.

I don't say anything.

"Trust me?" he asks.

"With my life. And our baby's life," I say.

"We'll find her."

--

One hour and a hard and fast round of shower sex later, we're in Elliot's SUV headed down to the 1-6.

"Benson, Stabler," Captain Cragen waves us into his office as soon as we're through the doors. We walk in and he shuts the door behind us as we both carefully sit in the chairs facing his desk.

"Get some sleep?" he asks.

"Yes, sir," Elliot responds guiltily as I just nod and blush.

"Good. Liv. We're doing a press conference at 9. We're running out of options and ideas." I nod my agreement.

"We have a half hour to get your story established. As far as anyone knows, you're just a terrified mother wanting your daughter's kidnapper to return her."

"Cap?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"That _is_ all I am."

"You're also an FBI agent. If anyone knows that, they can use it as leverage. For now, you're a mommy."

"What about me?" Elliot asks.

"We're leaving you out of it for now, there, Dad," Don says with a smile. It's pretty rare that he smiles, but when he does, it's comforting. "If we don't get anything from this, we'll come up with a "plan Q," he says.

"Okay," I stand, wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans. "Let's go," I say.

Elliot takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. "We'll find her," he says.

I nod quickly. "Yep." I can't say anything else. I don't have time to break down.

We head downstairs to the front of One Police Plaza where the press corps is set up. I take my position next to Don in front of the microphones. All the flashbulbs start going off as he talks and I'm stunned. There have been so many times I've been the detective in the background when one of these things was going on. So many times when I've been out chasing down a lead to find the missing kid. So many times that I've been sitting upstairs in the office combing through records looking for anything amiss. Never in all those times did I imagine I would be here. Wearing the mommy shoes. Begging for the safe return of my baby. Not knowing what sort of sick freak-o I was begging. Not knowing what he'd done to my baby. I always thought I had lots of sympathy for the parents. But never have I had as much _empathy_ as I do at this moment. I look up. Captain is looking at me. I open my mouth to speak and tears well up in my eyes.

"Please," I gasp. "Please just bring her back," I say. "Please bring my Kelli back. Please." I can't think of anything else. All the things I wanted to say before have flown out of my head. I just want my baby back.

"If you know anything about Kelli, please call the Crimestoppers number listed at the bottom of your screen. The calls are not recorded and any information you have that could lead to the safe return of Kelli would be of great assistance to me and the rest of the NYPD. Thank you for your time," Don says, turning away from the microphone. "Let's go," he whispers to me, leading me back into the building.

When we get upstairs, Elliot's is the first face I see. "How'd it go?" he asks, pulling me into his arms.

"She did great," Don answers before I can start blubbering about how I lost it and didn't say half the things I wanted to.

"That's my girl," Elliot responds with a cocky grin. He squeezes me to him one more time and kisses the top of my head. "Guess what, Liv? We got a lead. I'm going to check it out right now."

"Can I go?" I ask him. He shrugs and points to the captain.

I turn my attention to the man I consider a father. "Please?" I ask.

He sighs, knowing arguing will be futile, not to mention a waste of time. "Stay in the car, don't let anyone see you. If they think you're a cop, we're fucked," he says.

I nod my agreement. "Let's go," Elliot says.

--

The lead was a dead end. I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Elliot's patrol vehicle, sobbing. "We're not going to find her, are we?" I ask.

"Yes. We are. Our daughter is in this city. And we are going to find her," he says vehemently.

I shake my head. "She's long gone by now. He stole her from me. I lost our baby," I cry, my shoulders shaking.

"No. I refuse to believe that. I have gone to church for too many Goddamn years for God to take my daughter away before I even get to meet her. We WILL find her," Elliot replies, sliding his arm around my shoulders. He turns my face to him and wipes a tear away with his thumb just as his phone rings.

"Stabler," he answers quickly. "Oh no shit?!" he laughs heartily. "Oh my God. Okay. We're on our way back. Thanks man. We'll see you soon," he flips the phone shut.

I give him a questioning glance, wondering what could be causing his sudden jubilance.

"He called. The stupid bastard fuckin' called."

"What?" I gasp.

"Crimestoppers. The guy who has Kelli called Crimestoppers. He wants you to meet him at the subway station on 36th at noon. With ten grand in a paper bag," he says, still smiling.

"Elliot, where in the hell am I going to get ten grand?" I ask.

"Cragen has a plan. Says the guy sounds like an idiot. Didn't say anything about unmarked bills or 'no cops.' He's sending me with you. We're getting our baby back, Liv."

--

_**A/N: Hope it was worth the wait! XO, Kinsey**_


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I'm so glad you guys are reading this even if the stupid alerts aren't working! Thank you for the awesome reviews!! I promise to address all of your concerns in the upcoming chapters!!

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine. And Kelli! You can't have her! Well. Okay, maybe. But ask nicely.

--

My palms are sweating. I'm holding ten grand. Ten grand in my hands. I've never held ten grand in a paper bag before. Let alone ten grand and several ink packs.

"Doin' okay?" Elliot asks in the transmitter in my ear. I glance over to the ticket counter where he's standing by. "Don't look at me, Liv. You know better than that," he hisses.

"Sorry," I mumble into my sleeve.

"Just relax. It'll be over in just a minute."

I check my watch again. 11:58. Noon. We're supposed to be here at noon. I look around the subway station, trying to see anyone I deem suspicious. Anyone I deem to be worthless enough to kidnap my daughter. My eyes land on a man in a leather jacket, sunglasses on top of his head, looking around. Just the way his eyes are darting around raises the fine hairs on the back of my neck.

_What's his deal?_

Then I see her. Sitting on a bench. All alone. My baby. Leather jacket man leans down and says something to her. She nods.

_Be brave, baby. Mommy and Daddy love you._

The man starts walking toward me and I hear Elliot in my ear. "John. Kelli is on a bench at two o'clock. Don't let her out of your sight."

"Got it," Munch replies.

Leather jacket man walks toward me. "Olivia?" he says. I nod. "That for me?" he asks.

"That depends," I say. "Where's Kelli?" I ask, playing dumb.

He points to the bench. "Right there," he smiles and waves at her. Seeing me, she waves back excitedly, but stays put. "I told her she had to wait until I had the bag in my hands. Then she could come over. So. That for me?" he gestures to the bag. I hand it over as I watch Kelli spring up from the bench and run towards me.

"Mommy!" she cries, leaping into my arms. As I'm hugging my baby, thanking God that she's back in my arms, I see the guy take off out of the corner of my eye.

Munch and Fin stop him. "Where you off to so fast?" Munch asks.

He stutters and stammers a non-sensical response.

"We have someone here that would like to visit with you," Fin informs him, pulling Leather jacket's arms behind his back.

Elliot quickly jogs over to where the guys are holding Kelli's kidnapper.

"Hi," he says, brightly. "What's your name?" he asks.

"You a cop?" he asks stupidly.

"Sure am. What's your name? Might as well tell me, I'll find out anyway. You know. Since I'm a cop and all."

"I'll take my chances," he sneers.

"Okay then. I'll have to improvise," Elliot shrugs. "You have the right to keep your God damn mouth shut, you sick son of a bitch. If you give up that right, though I don't know why you would, any idiotic thing you could possibly think of can and _trust me_, it will, be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. In the event you cannot afford one, we'll find a real swell one to appoint to you. Let's go." Munch and Fin lead him away and Elliot starts walking toward us.

"Hey Kelli," I begin. "You want to meet your daddy?" I ask.

"YEAH!" she cheers just as Elliot reaches us. A spark of recognition crosses her face. She's seen so many pictures of Elliot, she could have picked her daddy out of a line up at a thousand yards.

"Hi, Kelli," he says, almost shyly.

"Hi," she replies in wonder, barely believing she is in the same room as her daddy.

"I'm your dad, Kelli," he says in the same tone of voice as his daughter.

"I know. I have lots of pictures of you," she says quietly. I blush. Yeah. I _was_ kind of a shutterbug when we were together…

"Well maybe while you're here I can get lots of pictures of you," Elliot suggests, glancing at me.

I nod my agreement, my arms still wrapped tightly around Kelli's little body. "Let's get out of here," I suggest, heading for the stairs up to the street.

--

"Kidnapper's name is John Smith. I _wish_ I was kidding," Munch informs me, walking out of the interrogation room. "No priors. 22 years old. First time kidnapper," he says snidely. "No juvvie record either. Where's Kelli?" he asks.

"In with Huang," I say. "Don brought him in since you three boys seemed more interested in talking to Mr. Smith," I say with an eye roll.

"Hey. Nothing but the best interrogators for our Liv," he says with a trademark smirk.

"Yeah. About that…" I glance over my shoulder through the one-way where Elliot is a millimeter from Mr. Smith's face and Fin is sitting there, twirling his thumbs as if he can't see a thing.

"Whoops. Better go calm things down," John shakes his head as he ducks back in the room and closes the door. I flip on the intercom to listen.

"So seriously. Why the hell did it seem like a good idea to steal a six-year-old from a zoo?" Elliot asks, sitting down as soon as John comes back in.

"I told you, man. I needed the money."

"And you didn't think you'd get caught?" Fin asks, suspiciously.

"Obviously not," Mr. Smith sneers sarcastically.

"Lose the attitude or I'll let Detective Stabler loose again," Munch advises. This seems to scare Mr. Smith, as well it should. I'd love to let Elliot loose on him, but then we'd have a lawsuit on our hands for excessive force.

I flip off the intercom and leave the boys to do their thing. I head across the hall to the interrogation room on the other side of Cragen's office to check on Kelli and George Huang, the department psychiatrist.

Just as I got there, George was coming out of the room. "I think we dodged a bullet, Olivia. Kelli says nothing bad happened. From what the captain told me about this guy, I'm inclined to believe her."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Thank God," I say with a smile. "I listened in on part of the guys' interview… he says he just needed the money," I say.

George nods. "That makes sense. Kelli said he told her he needed her to get him some money. The guys have any idea what he needed it for?"

I shake my head. "I'm waiting on his credit report to come back. I have my suspicions though," I say.

George nods again. "Yeah. Me too," he says with a smile. "Kelli's great, Liv. You've done a good job with her."

"Thanks doc," I say. "That means a lot coming from you."

He laughs. "I _am_ saying that from the standpoint of a psychiatrist _and_ a friend. Go see her if you want," he says.

I walk in the smaller interrogation room where Kelli's set up with a pad of paper and several pens and pencils.

"Hey babycakes," I say.

"Hi Mom," she replies, still concentrating on her drawing, barely acknowledging my existence.

"Whatcha drawing?"

"You. And me. And Daddy," she says with a grin. I glance down at her picture and see she's drawn Elliot without any hair.

"Daddy's not _totally_ bald, honey," I tease. She shrugs as if to say _close enough._ "So, uh, Kelli. What do you think of Daddy?" I ask.

She shrugs again. "He's nice," she says.

"Do you want to meet some more of Mom's friends? Like Melinda? Or Casey? Or Alex?"

"Yeah!" she agrees wholeheartedly.

"Okay. Let me go tell Daddy where we're going," I say. I take her hand and we walk back into the storage room on the other side of the interrogation room the boys have Mr. Smith in. I push the button on the intercom and say, "Elliot?" His head pokes up from his heated discussion with Fin and Munch. "Can I see you a sec?"

He steps out and closes the door behind him. "Hey ladies," he says, ruffling Kelli's hair. She giggles. "Daaaaad," she whines. Like he's been doing it her whole life instead of for the first time today. He smiles. "What's up?" he asks me.

"We're going to run down to the lab to see Mel. And then over to the courthouse to meet Case and Alex," I inform him. "Do you want to have dinner later?"

"Sure. Just stop back by when you get done visiting. Have fun," he kisses me lightly on the temple and squeezes my hand. "Hey Kelli?" he asks, kneeling down to her level. "Do you think I could maybe have a hug?" he asks. She looks up at me quickly and I nod. She wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a good squeeze. "You're a great hugger," he tells her.

"That's what Mom says," she says with a big grin.

"Your mom's a pretty smart lady," he replies. He gives my hand another quick squeeze as he walks back in the interrogation room.

"Mom," Kelli whispers conspiratorially.

"What?" I ask, squatting down to her level.

"I think he _likes_ you," she says.

I can't help but smile. "You think so?" I ask. She nods vigorously. "Let's go see Aunt Melinda, okay sillybean?"

"Mom! It's KELLIbean!" she giggles.

--

"Hey Dr. Warner," I smile as we enter the office next to the morgue. The doc has her back to me when she speaks.

"Olivia Benson, you better be standing there when I turn around and it better not be my imagination," she says, whipping around.

I laugh heartily and pull her into a hug. "What's up, Doc?" I tease.

She squeezes me tightly and smiles. "Not a darn thing. Heard you were back in town," she said smoothly.

I nod as I feel Kelli tug on my hand. "Oh, excuse me," I say, rolling my eyes at Melinda. "Mel, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Kelli Serena Benson," I introduce.

"Kelli, it is wonderful to meet you," she says.

"Nice to meet you too," Kelli says sweetly.

Melinda looks at me. "Doing okay?" she asks.

"Loaded question, doc," I reply. "But yeah. We're okay."

"Elliot?" she asks.

"Handling it like a pro," I say.

"Are you surprised?"

"A little… I kind of expected him to freak out more. And he told me that he _is_ mad, but he hasn't really… seemed mad," I say.

"Well. Be prepared for the crap to hit the fan when the adrenaline wears off," Melinda advises.

I nod my head. "I'm kind of afraid of that," I say.

"Who all have you gotten to meet, Kelli?" Melinda asks, turning her attention back to my daughter.

"Daddy," she says importantly. "And now you!" she adds.

"We're going over to the courthouse to see Casey and Alex after this," I tell Melinda.

"Well don't let me hold you up! How long are you guys staying?" she asks.

"Maybe another few days? Depending on… things…" I say.

Melinda nods. "Well. Call if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure. Ready bean?" I ask, glancing down at my kid. She nods. "Let's go," I say.

--

When we got to the courthouse, the first person we saw out on the steps was none other than my best friend Alexandra Cabot.

"Afternoon, _Judge_," I say.

"Well hello Agent Benson!" Alex replies, taking the cement steps two at a time. She wraps me in a hug and looks down at Kelli. "Hi, Kelli," she says.

"Hi," Kelli replies.

"Kelli, this is your Aunt Alex, my very best friend in the whole world, and the best judge in the whole state of New York," I say.

Kelli smiles. "I've seen pictures of her too, Mom," she tells me.

"That's right babe, good job."

"So? Everything…" Alex asks nervously.

"Fine. He didn't harm a hair on her head. Thank God."

"Where is he now?" she asks.

"Being questioned by Dad, Uncle Munchy and Uncle Fin," I say with an eye roll.

"I almost feel bad for the poor bastard," Alex giggles.

I nod my head and giggle. "Case in her office?" I ask.

"Should be – we just got back from lunch at the diner. I'm actually not presiding over any of her cases for once, so we get to hang out for a few days," Alex said with a grin. "She's pretty good at my old job."

I smile, thinking back to Casey Novak's first couple cases with SVU. None of us thought she was going to hack it. "Well, eleven years of experience will do that to you."

Alex laughs and slides her glasses back up on her nose. "I have to run, but how long are you guys staying?"

I shrug, and give her the same answer I gave Melinda.

"Well. If… things… make you stay a little longer, I'd love to see you guys again. Maybe we could do pizza and movies like we used to," she suggests.

"In those big, fancy, Judge Cabot digs," I reply with a smile.

"Of course," she says, squeezing my hand. "Great to see you, Liv. You look… wonderful."

"You too, Alex. I'll call you later, okay?"

"For sure. Nice to meet you, Kelli," Alex says.

"You too, Aunt Alex. See you!" Kelli says with a wave. I laugh and wave too, jogging up the steps to the front doors of the courthouse.

--

Knocking on the wood and glass door with "A.D.A. Casey Novak" etched in the glass, I poke my head inside. "Anyone home?" I ask.

"Olivia!" the door swings open to reveal the beautiful redheaded Assistant District Attorney.

"Hey, Case," I say, hugging her.

"And this, is the infamous Kellibean," Casey runs her hand over my daughter's head.

"Kelli, can you say hi to your Aunt Casey?" I ask.

"Hi," she replies sweetly. "Mom?"

"What, honey?"

"How many aunts do I _have_?"

"Two more, but they're not in New York," I say, in reference to Elliot's younger sisters.

"Wow."

Casey and I both laugh. My daughter has gone from having me and her "dead" father as her only family to a whole troupe of the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for in only a day.

"They just had a news report saying that Kelli had been found and that the Amber Alert was over," Casey informs me. "I was just coming over to the station to see what the scoop was."

"Well, we'll walk back with you. We're going to have dinner with Elliot," I say.

"How's that… going?" she asks.

"So far so good. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"As anyone would with a man like Elliot," Casey agrees with a smile. "It'll all work out, Liv. It always does with you guys," she says, locking her office door and shutting it behind us.

I nod. "I hope so."

--

A/N: FLUFF-O-RAMA! But yay, they got the bastard!! Woo! R&R my darlings! XO, Kinsey Jo


	9. Chapter 9

A/N:

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination belongs to me!

--

"Kelli, why don't you go see who's at the door?" I call from the master bedroom of our hotel room.

"Okay, Mom," I look out into the living room as she slides off the couch and runs for the door. "Who is it?" she calls, dragging a chair to the door.

"It's Dad," I hear Elliot say from the other side. Kelli climbs up on the chair and looks through the peephole.

"It's Daddy!" she calls back to me.

"Well let him in!" I laugh.

She drags the chair back away from the door and flips the lock to open the door and let Elliot in.

"Hi Kelli," he says.

"Hi Daddy!" she replies, reaching up to wrap her arms around his waist. He reaches down and picks her up, walking into the bedroom.

"How's my girl?" he asks her, kissing my cheek.

"I'm good. Mom says maybe you'll want to go to Chuck E. Cheese! I've only been one time in my _whole life, _Daddy. Please?" she begs, as if six years is far too long to go with only one trip to the pukiest place on earth.

Elliot raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh your mom knows how I _love_ that overgrown rat," he mutters at me.

I smile innocently at him. "I know," I say.

"So can we GO?!" Kelli asks.

"Of course," Elliot replies. He's always been a sucker for his daughters. I'm not surprised to see that this one is no different.

"Mom! Let's _go_," my daughter implores.

"Okay, okay!" I laugh, sliding my feet into my slip on sneakers and heading for the door, Elliot right on my heels, Kelli still securely in his arms.

--

The whole drive to the pizza place, I'm sneaking glances over at Elliot. He finally catches me and asks me what I'm staring at with a smile. I blush and shake my head. "I just can't believe we're really here," I say.

"You are," he replies, reaching over to take my hand. "And I want to talk to you more about how long you might be staying," he says, seriously.

"Elliot," I begin.

"Not right now," he interrupts. "But we _do_ have to talk about it eventually, Liv. I need to be with my daughter. We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

"I know," I whisper guiltily.

"We can talk about it later. Let's just have some fun with our kid tonight, okay?" he says with a smile.

"Okay," I nod and fake a smile.

I feel a _thud_ in the pit of my stomach. The other shoe just dropped.

--

I giggled for about the millionth time as Kelli mugged a silly face for her dad who was snapping pictures of her climbing all over the jungle gym at Chuck E. Cheese.

Elliot slides into the booth across from me, a bright smile on his face. "I forgot what it was like to have one this little," he says.

"She's a handful sometimes, El. It's not always like this," I remind him.

He nods. "I know. I did raise 4 other fairly normal children," he says defensively.

"I'm not trying to start a fight, Elliot. I'm just saying."

"You've been on edge all night, Liv. What's up?" he asks.

I shrug. "Nothing."

"Olivia. Seriously. You can't lie to me and you know it. What's going on?"

"I… what do you expect to happen, exactly, Elliot? We just move back here and become one big happy family?"

Elliot straightens his shoulders in a way I've come to know means I'm in for a fight. "Well as nice as that would be, Olivia," he says sarcastically, "I'm not expecting the pieces to just _fall into place, _no."

"Elliot, I'm not trying to be a bitch, I promise. I just need to know what you expect."

"I _expect_ to get to see my daughter, Liv!" he's getting exasperated with me.

"And I have no intention of keeping you from her. But we don't exactly _need_ to move back to New York."

"What do you mean you don't _need_ to come back here?" he asks.

"Exactly what I said, Elliot. You can visit whenever you want. I agree, it is important for you to see Kelli. But they _do_ have airplanes, now. And believe it or not, Montana has airports."

"She needs her Dad in her life, Liv. Every day, not when my work schedule allows."

"Elliot, we've done fine without you for six years. We'll be fine now."

"LIKE I HAD ANY CHOICE ABOUT THAT!"

"Elliot, calm down."

"Mommy?" Kelli comes over to the table, rubbing her little fist over her eyes.

"What, princess?" I ask, trying to keep my voice from cracking from the tears that are about to overflow.

"I'm sleepy," she says.

"Okay. Let's go back to the hotel, hmm?" I ask, picking her up and putting her on my hip.

She pushes back from me and holds her arms out to Elliot. "Daddy can you carry me?"

"Sure, honey," Elliot says, taking her out of my arms. I give him a look that I hope conveys my message.

_Don't think that means this discussion is over. Because it's not. By a long shot._

--

Half an hour later, after a car ride of complete silence save for the tiny baby snores coming from the back seat, we're back at the hotel. Elliot picks Kelli up and we head inside to the elevator. The ride up to the room is complete silence, just like it had been the day before, only for different reasons this time. I don't… I don't know what to do. I really am in love with Elliot. I feel like I could move back here in a heartbeat, but I just can't see the benefit of taking Kelli away from everything she's familiar with. Still, he's right. It would be nice for her to be able to see him every day and get to know him. Augh! What am I supposed to do?

We enter the hotel room, Kelli out like a light, draped across her daddy's chest, her face snuggled into his neck. He takes her into the bedroom and pulls off her little shoes, dropping them on the floor next to the bed. I grab a nightgown out of her suitcase as Elliot pulls off her jeans and tee shirt. I hand him the nightgown and he slips it over her head, pushing her arms through the sleeves. Amazingly, she sleeps through the whole thing. He looks up at me. "Socks on or off?" he asks.

"Off. She'll take them off in her sleep anyway," I respond automatically.

"Strips in her sleep, huh? Sounds like someone else I know," he teases.

I crack a small smile. "Yeah, well."

He bends down and pulls the comforter up to her chin, kissing her forehead. I tuck the covers in around her. "Snug as a bug in a rug," I say, kissing her cheek. We walk to the door and I start to pull it almost all the way shut, so she can still see a sliver of light from the living room. "Love you, Kelli," I whisper to her sleeping form.

"Love you Momma," she whispers back. "Love you Daddy."

I roll my eyes. "Goodnight, Kelli Serena. You faker."

She giggles softly.

"Love you Kellibean," Elliot says quietly, his hand resting on top of mine on the doorknob.

"Thanks for letting me do that," he says once we're seated in the living room.

I nod. "Elliot, it isn't my goal to keep you from doing daddy daughter stuff with her. Even though I'm sure that's what it seems like I'm doing," I finish quietly.

"Well… it… Olivia, why didn't you tell me about her?"

"I don't know," I whisper, and honestly, I _have_ forgotten. They're so natural together; I have no idea why I was even the slightest bit worried. Maybe I was scared for me, but in hindsight I have no idea why. I loved Elliot Stabler with every fiber of my being. Why would I let him go? "You left," I whisper. Oh yeah. That.

"Liv. Lizzie and Richard were still in high school. They… needed me."

"You could have come back. They've been in college for four years."

"By that time…" he trails off.

"It was just too hard?" I ask.

He nods. "I guess. Yeah. I guess you're right."

"Now you know how I feel. Montana is home for us. It's all Kelli's ever known. Like how New York is home for you."

He sighs, putting his head in his hands. "I didn't… when she was missing… I didn't think this would be so hard. Two days ago, I didn't know she existed. And you… you were like this great memory I had. The happiest memory," he looks up at me and smiles. "And now you're both here… and I don't want to miss any more time… with either of you."

I smile, thinking about how he always knows just what to say to get to me. "So what do we do?" I ask. "I don't want to come rushing back out here, and do you honestly think you could be happy in small-town Montana?" I played the card that I knew would win me the hand. He'd been miserable in Jackson the whole two years we'd been there. He'd always whined about how there wasn't enough to do. "Seriously, Elliot. You would have come back, I know you would. But you hated Montana more than you loved me."

His face falls. "I guess I always hoped that you loved New York as much as you loved me and that you'd come back."

"I did, Elliot. But you leaving and not coming back… it left a pretty clear message in my mind."

He nods. "I can see your point, I guess. So… what about a trial? The rest of the semester in Montana, and then you guys come here. Kelli goes to school out here and we leave it up to her. Let her decide which she likes better and that's where we'll land."

I grin at him. "Ever let a six-year-old make a life decision for you?"

He laughs. "Judging by the smile on your face I'd say not as often as you have."

I nod. "I left it up to her whether or not we would come out here."

"You're the mom. You have the final decision. I'm glad you made the one you did," he says, covering my hand softly. I sit there for a moment, trying to decide if I think his proposition is worth agreeing to or not. Time slows to a crawl as his fingers trace over the back of my hand and he bores holes into me with those big blue eyes.

"C'mon, Livvie," he pleads.

"I _hate_ when you call me Livvie."

"Only because you can't resist me," he says with a mile-wide grin.

I roll my eyes. Dammit. It's so true. "Fine," I concede. His smile brightens (if that's even possible at this point) as he pulls me into his arms.

"So. What about us?" he asks.

I roll my eyes. "One relationship at a time, Stabler. Let's just let "us" happen how it happens, and you work on getting to know your daughter, okay?" I smile.

"You aren't any fun anymore, you know that?" he teases.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm a mom. We're the un-funnest ever," I smile.

"Seriously though, how long are you guys going to stay before you head back? How long does Kelli have off from school?"

"We'll probably stay until after John's trial. Then we'll go back. She's got another two days off from school, but it won't be that hard to get a couple more."

Elliot nods. "Well, I guess. I better get back to the house…" he trails off, hinting heavily that he'd like an invitation to stay, but I know if I don't issue one, he'll go.

"Do you want to stay?" I ask with an eye roll.

"Jeez, Liv. Don't sound so excited."

"Please, Elliot. Please stay," I deadpan.

"Well if you insist," he smiles.

--

A/N: Hmmm. I wonder what the next chapter is going to be? R&R! XO, Kinsey Jo


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: More smut! Good lord you guys, I need to get a life! I know you all will leave fabulous reviews for this to make it all worth it, RIGHT?! Loves! XO, KJ**_

**Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination belongs to me.**

--

"Do you want to order a movie?" I ask, flipping through the TV guide on top of the set in the armoire.

"We can if you want," he replies absentmindedly, looking in the direction of Kelli's closed door.

I cross the room and walk up behind him. I wrap my arms around his stomach and snake my hands between the buttons of his shirt. Rubbing up and down his abs, I smile into his back as he sucks in a breath.

"You can go check on her if you want," I say. "She's in there."

He turns and smiles at me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "You're amazing, you know that, right?"

I nod. "I'm aware," I tease. "I'm going to put some sweats on," I explain as he's still looking at her almost closed door.

He smiles at me and strides across the room, his powerful legs carrying him quickly to our daughter's door. I leave him to it and head into the master suite to change. I grab a tee shirt and a pair of shorts out of my bag and slip them on before I wander back into the living room and flop down on the couch. Elliot is standing in the doorway to Kelli's room, his arms across his chest watching her sleep. "She okay?" I ask.

"She's perfect," he answers without looking at me, a smile on his face.

"Come snuggle with me," I say. He pulls her door back to where it was, open a crack for the light to get in so she isn't scared. He turns to me and smiles, raising an eyebrow.

"Isn't that mine?" he asks about my light blue NYPD tee shirt.

"Hasn't been for… what… thirteen years ago that you left it at my apartment? I'd say it's mine now," I reply with a grin.

"We'll see about that," he vows.

"Oh really? What're you gonna do about it, Stabler?" I taunt.

He gets a devilish gleam in his eye, one I recognize all too well. He darts toward the couch and I leap up before he can trap me.

"Can't get me," I say.

Elliot rolls his eyes. "You've been spending far too much time with a six-year-old," he says. He leaps over the couch and scoops me into his embrace, tossing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He bands an arm around my thighs and turns his head to press a kiss to the side of my leg where my shorts have ridden up. He strides into the bedroom and dumps me unceremoniously onto the bed. He apparently decides that I'll stay there and starts loosening his tie. I take the opportunity to roll away and dart back out the door. "Liv," he whines.

"Hmmm?" I ask from my re-secured position on the couch.

"Come back," he whines some more.

"And I'm acting like a six-year-old?" I ask.

He laughs. "Fine. I think I'm going to bed," he teases.

"Okay," I reply. I know he's trying to trick me. And I'll go in there. But I'm going to make him suffer for a little while. I flick through the channels on the TV a couple times, stopping for a few moments on various shows. I glance at my watch and see that ten minutes have gone by. Long enough.

I click off the TV and shut off the lamp behind the couch, bathing the room in darkness. The bedroom light is off… he didn't really go to bed, did he? I stop in the doorway, seeing his muscular form stretched out in the middle of the big bed. "I was wondering how long you'd make me wait," he growls.

I pull my – his – tee shirt off over my head and shove my shorts and panties to the floor. I move to the end of the bed and crawl up his naked form until I'm straddling his thighs. "Not much longer," I say with a smile. He folds his hands behind his head and grins at me. I bend down and kiss his bare chest, my tongue darting out to lick at his nipple. He sucks in a breath and I smile against his skin. He reaches down between us and drags his fingers along my wet slit. He slides two fingers inside me and presses his thumb against my clit. I'm so close to orgasm I can't believe it. He's always been able to do this to me. It's a wonder I can _work_ when we're together. He barely has to look at me and I'm screaming his name in ecstasy. I reach down and pull his hand away, shifting so that I can slide down onto his shaft. My head drops back to my shoulders as I groan my acceptance of him in my body. I lean down and give him a hot, wet kiss, using my hands to balance myself as I lift off of his penis. When I drop down again, we both groan into each other's mouths, trying to stifle our usual rafter-rattling screams so we don't wake our daughter. He reaches up and tweaks my nipple, his hand cupping the soft skin of my breast. I pull back so I can lift off of him again. I lean back, balancing my hands on his thighs as I'm riding him. He reaches his other hand out to capture my swaying breast. My eyes lock on his smoky blue gaze as he slams his hips up into me. The look on his face is pure lust. I quicken my pace, reaching out for my orgasm, knowing it's within my grasp. I love making love to this man almost as much as I love straight up fucking him like I'm doing right now. His hips rise off the bed again and I slam down against him. He reaches up and spears his fingers into my hair, pulling me down to him. He kisses me and swallows my screams as I come. I kiss him back for all I'm worth. I'll never be over Elliot. I'm a lost cause.

--

A few moments later, he's tucked securely around me, his hands idly stroking my stomach and breasts beneath the sheet.

"I love you," he says. Tears build in my eyes because I know that I love him too. Dammit, this is going to be hard. This is why I didn't want to see him again when I had Kelli. I knew the bastard would make me fall in love again.

_Like you ever fell out._

Totally not the point. Whether I ever fell out or not, I'm back in now, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

"I love you," I whisper, tears choking my voice. He places a soft kiss against the back of my neck as he trails his fingers down my stomach and lets them come to rest between my legs. I lift my knee slightly so he can slide them inside. He does and he pumps them back and forth, drawing a second orgasm out of me. I clench my thighs around his hand, coming as quietly as I can. He pulls his fingers out and leaves his arm draped across my stomach, pulling my hips tighter to him. "I missed you," I admit, the tears falling freely.

"Hey, hey, what's with the tears?" he asks. He can feel my body shaking with sobs.

"I just… I don't know. When we got Kelli back, it made me think of Rebecca and Ryan, and how we found Rebecca in that box… and… I'm just so happy nothing happened to our baby," I sob.

"There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that, and you, and how I almost lost you. I can't believe I was ever so stupid to let you go," he says quietly.

"We'll figure this out, El. I… I don't think I can be without you anymore," I admit. Something in his gentle love has freed my soul. On one hand, I'm terrified of how this is going to work out. But on the other… I'm too scared of what will happen if I don't at least try.

I roll to my other side so I'm facing him. I stare into his blue eyes in the darkness, not really sure what I'm hoping to see there. He reaches up and wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb. I cup his stubbled cheek with the palm of my hand and kiss his lips gently. Normally, he would deepen the kiss and we would be going another round but I need to be held right now, and he knows it. He knows me. I kiss him again, and whisper that I love him. I just can't stop saying it. He has to know. It's urgent to me that he knows how important he is to me.

"I love you too, Liv. So much. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I didn't come back. I'm sorry you've had to do the last six years by yourself."

"I know you are, El. I forgive you. I love you," I say again. It spills out of my mouth like a reflex.

He smiles and kisses me lightly. "Go to sleep, baby. Sweet dreams."

I close my eyes and snuggle my head into the space where his neck and chest meet. I tip my head down a bit and place a gentle kiss over his heartbeat. His hands stroke up and down my bare back, tracing idle patterns along their path. It feels so good to be in his arms. I remember what I've told my daughter so many times.

_Your daddy's hug is the safest place in the whole world._

And it is.

--

_**A/N: I wrote most of this chapter earlier today, but the end stuff I did after "Fault," which I hadn't ever seen before. I know, I know. What self-respecting EO shipper hasn't seen "Fault?!?!?!" But I hadn't. And now I have. And as you all know, that is like the freaking most emotionally draining episode ever. I tried to wrap this chapter up as neatly as I could, but all I could see were the tears streaming down Liv's face when she's pretty much begging Gitano not to kill Elliot. SO DRAINING! So now, I must go to bed, dream of the amazing Chris (hee!) and wake up renewed and refreshed in the morning. In the meantime, hit that little purple button and tell me what you thought! Thanks! XO, KJ**_


	11. Chapter 11 Author's Note!

Hey guys! Seriously, when are they going to fix the alerts?!?! It's been a week! If you guys don't know when I post you can't review and that makes me cry a little inside: ( Giggletrig brought this to my attention… I deleted the author's note from last Tuesday when I was sick, so if you try to review chapter 10, it tells you you already reviewed – even though TECHNICALLY it was a different chapter – bah. So, if you would PLEASE be so kind, leave your reviews for Chapter Ten here… in, uh Chapter Eleven. I guess. Stupid thing… Thank you! XO, KJ!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I swear to you guys, when these stupid alerts are working again, I will reply to all of your reviews like I always do!! For now, just know that I appreciate the reviews SO SO much. They are my crack! By the way, MAJOR FLUFF ALERT!!! But I know you guys don't mind because you all love Kelli so darn much!

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine!

--

"MOMMY! DADDY!" I shoot up in bed at the screeching of my six-year-old. I glance over at Elliot who is sleeping soundly.

"Hi, baby, what's up?" I ask her, running a hand through my disheveled hair, holding the sheet tightly to my breasts.

"Its time to get up, guys," she says with a grin.

"Okay, well why don't you go sit in the living room and put in a DVD. We'll order some breakfast and then we have to have a grown up talk, okay?"

"Okay Mommy. Can I wake Daddy up?" she asks.

"Sure, honey."

She tiptoes across the room to the side of the bed where Elliot is sprawled on his back. Thank God we've got a huge down comforter. Because if I remember correctly how Elliot used to wake up… our daughter would have gotten one hell of a surprise. She crawls up on the side of the bed and kisses his cheek. "Daddy," she whispers. He doesn't move.

"Maybe he needs another kiss," I suggest.

She kisses him square on the nose. "Daddy," she says a little louder. "DADDY WAKE UP!" she screeches. Elliot still doesn't move, but I can see a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. I think I just figured out where my daughter got her natural "faker" abilities.

"Maybe you should jump on his tummy," I suggest again. Kelli grins and stands up on the bed, waiting to drop onto her dad's solar plexus. Just as she's about to let herself fall, he reaches up and grabs her around the waist and pulls her down between us in the bed.

"WHADDAREYOUDOING?!" he growls at her playfully as he tickles her.

She squeals in surprise and starts giggling. "Daddy, you were faking!" she says.

"Kinda like someone else I know," I tease from the other side of her.

Elliot kisses the top of her head. "How'd you sleep, babe?"

"Good."

"Good," he replies, kissing her again. "Go put in a DVD and then we'll go eat breakfast, okay?"

"Okay," she crawls to the end of the bed and slides off, heading for the door. When she's closed it behind her, Elliot turns to me.

"Good morning, Mom," he teases, kissing me lightly.

"Mmmm. Morning, Dad."

"Were you really going to let her jump on me?" he asks, faking offense.

"Yeah, I was," I deadpan with an eye roll. "Go get in the shower," I request, sliding out of bed and crossing the room to grab my robe.

He lets out a deep wolf-whistle at my naked form. "Only if you come with me."

"Nice try. Your six year old daughter is watching TV in the living room. As I recall, you're kind of a noisy shower taker."

"Only with you," he pouts.

"My point exactly. So go get in there. Alone," I laugh.

"Fine," he whines, stomping to the bathroom like a petulant child.

"You act just like her," I mutter playfully. He sticks his tongue out at me right before he shuts the door.

I shake my head and laugh to myself, finally happy to be secure in the knowledge that my daughter comes by her attitude quite naturally.

I pull on a pair of panties and my robe, heading out to the living room to catch up on the latest adventures of the cute little Latina explorer with my daughter. She's curled up in the chair-and-a-half with her blanky, her thumb securely in her mouth.

"Kelli," I say warningly.

She pulls her thumb out of her mouth and looks at me guiltily. "Sorry," she says.

"You're sorry you got caught," I remind her.

"Sorry, Mommy."

"It's okay, baby. You're trying really hard to stop, I know. But all three of your big sisters had to get braces because they sucked their thumbs."

Kelli nods for a second and then stops. "I don't have any sisters, Mommy."

"Um, yes, actually. You do. Maureen, Kathleen, and Elizabeth. You also have a big brother. His name is Richard."

Her eyes widen like saucers. I'm so glad I haven't waited longer to tell her all of this. She'd hate me forever for keeping it from her, but at the age she is right now, she's just excited about these new family members. Just like Dana had said.

_Crap._ I forgot to call Dana when we found Kelli. _Note to self: call Dana._

"I have SISTERS?! And a BIG BROTHER?!" she screeches. "Can we go see them?"

God this is such a mess. "Um, well, two of your sisters, yes, because they're here in New York. But your other big sister is a teacher in Alaska, and your big brother is in college in California."

Her eyes continue to widen. "They're in college?!"

I nod. "Mhm. And your big sister Maureen lives here. She's a doctor. And Kathleen is going to law school to be a lawyer like Aunt Casey."

"Wow," Kelli breathes. Elliot walks out of the bedroom, his hair wet from his shower, wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

"Okay ladies, I'm going to run home and get some clean clothes and then I'll come back and get you for breakfast, how's that?" he asks, oblivious to the discussion we've been having.

"Daddy I wanna meet my big sisters!"

Elliot looks shocked for a second and glances up at me.

"I used the girls' braces story to get Kelli to stop sucking her thumb," I explain.

He laughs. "Okay, honey. I'll call Katie and Maureen today and see if they have time, okay?"

"Yay! Can they come to breakfast?"

"We'll see, pun'kin. It's pretty short notice. Maybe we should do something this weekend instead. How would that be?"

"Yeah! We can go to Chuck E. Cheese again!"

Elliot smiles and in that instant I know he'll be tolerating "the overgrown rat" again for the happiness of his youngest child.

"Sounds good, honey." Elliot crosses the room to kiss me quickly before he leaves. "Missed you in there," he whispers.

I roll my eyes and give him a soft shove. "Go get some clean clothes, Daddy. You stink," I laugh, holding my nose playfully.

"Okay, Mommy," he grins.

"I'll be back in a little while, okay princess? I love you," he asks, kissing the top of Kelli's head as he heads for the door.

"Okay Daddy. See you in a little while. I love you too," she agrees.

"Kelli, I'm going to go take a shower okay?"

"Okay Mom."

"Remember the rule," I say automatically.

"Don't open the door without checking," she responds. Elliot beams proudly at what I've taught our daughter.

"That's my girl," I say, smiling as she sticks her thumb back in her mouth reflexively.

"Kelli," Elliot warns.

"Sorry, Dad," she pulls her thumb out.

He smiles. "I'm going to make your sisters tell you how much they hated braces."

"Okay," she pouts for a second. "I have sisters," she says in the next breath.

Elliot and I both laugh and he kisses me quickly. "Love you," he whispers.

"Love you," I whisper back, resting my forehead against his. He kisses me again and turns to go, ruffling Kelli's hair on his way out the door. I walk behind him to be sure the deadbolt is flipped. We get to the door and he draws me into his arms again, looking over my shoulder to make sure we're out of sight of Kelli. He holds me to him and presses his lips to mine. We kiss sweetly for a second, and then he turns up the heat by quickly undoing the belt of my robe and sliding his hand inside. I raise an eyebrow at him as his fingers graze over the soft skin of my breast.

"What?" he says innocently.

"Nothing," I smile. I crash my lips to his and slide my tongue into his mouth. He grins against my kiss and wraps his arms around my back, pulling my hips to his, his hands resting on my butt. I slide my arms around his neck, pushing my fingers through the short hair at his nape. Our tongues are dueling, battling for control when I hear Kelli.

"Mommy, come watch with me!" she calls from the living room. I pull back from Elliot with a grin.

"I'll make it up to you later," I smile.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," he says.

I kiss him quickly and reach down to trail my fingers over his erection. "Hurry back," I sing-song.

"I'm going to spend the day in pain, aren't I, you tease?" he asks.

I laugh and press my lips to his again. "Go on, get outta here."

"It's hard to love a woman like you, Olivia Benson," he smiles, pulling his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and turning to go down the hall.

"I love you!" I say cheerfully.

"Sure you do," he teases. "I love you, too," he calls back over his shoulder. I see him press a couple buttons on his cell phone and hold it up to his ear. "Yeah, hi. Is Dr. Stabler in by chance?" he asks. I shamelessly stare at his ass while he's walking down the hall waiting to be connected to Maureen. "Hey, Reen. It's Dad. I have to talk to you about something…"

_Oh boy_.

I turn and head back into the shower that is waiting for me, closing and locking the door behind me. I poke my head into the living room to check on my daughter. "I'm going to take that shower, k babe?"

"K, Momma," she replies, not turning her attention away from Dora and Boots.

I shower quickly and move to the bedroom to get dressed. Pulling on a pair of low-rise jeans, I dig through my shirts to find a cute one. I smile to myself, thinking about how good it feels to be dressing with Elliot in mind again. I pull out a long sleeved v-neck tee shirt and slip it on, tucking it in and belting my jeans with a wide brown leather belt.

"Okay, Kellibean, go hop in the shower please," I request, sitting down on the ottoman to put on my socks and shoes.

"This one is almost over, Momma," she pleads.

"Pause it. And get in the shower please," I smile.

"O-kay," she agrees reluctantly.

"Thank you baby," I smile, giving her a quick kiss as she scurries past me for the bathroom.

A few minutes later I can hear her singing off-key to a song on the shower radio and it makes me smile. I'm so glad to have my baby back. I hear Elliot knock on the door and that makes me smile too. We're going to get this all figured out.

"Coming!" I holler. I go to the door and check through the peephole to make sure it's him. Damn. Just the sight of him has my heart racing. Blue jeans, black tee shirt, his black leather jacket slung over his shoulder. I swing open the door and grin. "Hi."

"Hey, baby," he smiles, leaning in to kiss me like he didn't just see me forty-five minutes ago. "Where's Kelli?"

"In the shower. Don't even think about it, Stabler," I warn.

He smiles. "Well isn't your mind just in the gutter?"

"Oh _shut_ _**up**_," I groan. "What'd Maureen say?"

He grimaces. "After she got done yelling at me for being a moron?"

"Yes."

"She's really excited to see you again… and to meet her little sister."

"Good. She up for the overgrown rat this weekend?" I ask.

He nods. "My girls love Chucky," he smiles.

"Speaking of your girls," I say as Kelli emerges from the bathroom wrapped in a towel, her hair dripping down her back.

"Hi Dad," she says nonchalantly.

"Hi Bean," he replies just as plainly.

I can't believe how much these two have warmed up to each other – like they've always been a part of each others lives and haven't ever known any different.

"Go get dressed, Bean, and I'll do your hair while we have our grown up talk, okay?"

"Okay Mommy." She scurries into the other bedroom and emerges a few moments later in a button down pink shirt with a white tank top underneath and blue jeans, her socks in her hand.

I grab a comb off the table and she sits at my feet in front of the TV. She moves to press play on the remote and Elliot stops her. "You can finish that after our grown-up talk honey. This is really important and Mommy and I need you to really pay attention, okay?"

"Okay Dad," she replies, turning her attention to him.

"Hair?" I ask.

"Piggy buns," she replies.

"Regular part or zig-zag?" I ask.

"Zig-zag."

I tip her head back to line up a zig-zag part in her hair. "El, can you go get me a couple of those pink elastics on the bathroom counter?" I ask.

"Sure," he smiles. He gets me the hair ties and sits down behind me in the chair, putting his feet up beside my hip on the ottoman.

"Kellibean… how would you feel about going home to Montana until after Christmas… and then going to school in New York this spring? We would live here and you'd get to see Daddy all the time," I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.

"I want to see Daddy all the time _now_," she begs.

"We know, honey, but you need to go back and finish the rest of the quarter at _your_ school. You want to see your friends, right?" Elliot asks.

"Why can't you come _there_?" she whines.

"Honey, I wish I could. But I work here. I know it's hard to understand, baby, but you need to trust me and Mommy, okay? I _promise_ I'll come visit lots, and I'll call you every single day, okay?"

Kelli sits quietly and considers our offer.

"Do I still get to meet my big sisters and my big brother?" she asks.

Elliot and I both heave a sigh of relief.

"Of course, honey," he says. "We're going to hang out with Maureen and probably Kathleen this weekend."

"Okay."

"Kelli, you understand what this means, right?" I ask. After Christmas, we're going to come out here. You're going to go to school here and we'll live here. You won't get to see your friends from home very much."

"Can Megan come visit?" she asks sweetly.

"We could go back and visit _her_," I say. "But you won't get to see her every day."

She nods quietly.

"I know this is a lot to understand, babe. We want you to ask us any questions you have," I explain.

"Where are we going to live?" she asks.

Elliot jumps in. "Your mom and I haven't really talked about that yet, but we'll figure it out later."

I wrap the elastic around the second bun in her hair and she grins up at me sweetly. "Thanks Momma," she says.

"No problem, baby," I reply, kissing the top of her head. She gets up off the floor and crawls past me into her dad's lap.

"You'll come visit me?" she asks sweetly.

"You bet baby doll. And call you. Every day," he vows. "I love you Kelli. I don't want to be away from you either, but there's some grown up stuff your mom and I have to take care of. I hope you understand."

"I think so," she answered.

Elliot smiled at me over the top of her head, both of us knowing she didn't _quite_ understand, but that she would. And while she was trying to figure it all out, we'd be right there with her.

--

A/N: I know there was a LOT of fluff in this chapter – and some boring dialogue with the hair and what not, but I wanted to point out how much they're trying to just be _normal._ Hope you liked how I did it! Let me know!! XO, KJ


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: WHEN ARE THE ALERTS GOING TO BE FIXED?! Seriously. This is getting old. I think I've done like 8 chapters with no alerts and it irritates me. I have 44 FRIGGING people on the alert list for this story and I KNOW y'all aren't getting them. Take note: IT IS NOT JUST YOU. PLEASE (I'm begging) check the main SVU page (make sure you check the M rated page!) and you will find this story updated NEARLY every day (barring unforeseen circumstances!!), plus a songfic, oneshot, or smutty chapter of Need every so often. CHECK IT! READ THEM! LOVE THEM! REVIEW THEM! Ok. I'm done ranting. I'm glad you guys all liked chapter twelve! Yay! I was thinking about it the other day and I seriously have NO plan for this story – well. Not much of one anyway. So we're just kinda flying by the seats of our pants here ladies. Thanks for hangin' in for the ride!! Love you all – R&R it up for me! XO, Kins

Dedication: This one is for MHFever who R&R'd like a MADWOMAN today! You rock sister friend!!

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine – and the cutie of course (no, I'm not talking about Elliot. DAMMIT!!).

--

Today's the day. Saturday. D-Day. Or, more appropriately, Chuck E. Day. We're meeting Maureen and Kathleen at Chuck E. Cheese this afternoon. I glance at my watch. In about an hour. I swipe on some mascara and lip gloss and rub my lips together. I run my fingers through my curly hair for the thirty zillionth time and smile at Elliot in the mirror as he enters the room.

"You look far too beautiful for pizza and air hockey," Elliot says, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You're sweet. But shut up," I say with a nervous smile. "And what is with this air hockey obsession?"

"The Stabler kids dominate at air hockey," he shrugs. "It's just a fact," he smiles at the pained expression still on my face. "Olivia, relax. It's going to be fine. You've had dinner with my girls a million times."

"But how many times when I've introduced them to their baby sister?"

"Well there _is_ that."

"My point exactly."

Elliot smiles at me in the mirror. "Relax, honey. They missed you. They're excited. They're going to love Kelli." I tip my head back for a kiss and he complies.

"Yum. Is that the mango pineapple coconut stuff?" he asks.

I laugh. "Tropical passion. And I can't believe you remember."

"I remember every tube of lip junk in your arsenal," he laughs and kisses me again. I pull away and smooth my hands over my hips and down my sides.

"Do I look okay?" I ask.

"Beautiful as always," he replies.

"You're biased," I remind him.

"Oh okay. Let's ask some random man on the street if he thinks you're good looking. And then when he answers, I'll clock him."

I laugh and feel myself start to relax a little. I lean back against his chest and he wraps his arms tighter around my waist. Kelli comes sprinting into the room and I scoop her up off the floor.

"Are we going yet? I wanna meet my sisters!" she squeals.

"In a minute, baby," I smile at her, looking at the reflection of our family in the mirror. I've always told Kelli how her eyes match her dad's, and looking at them together in the mirror… I'm right. Her hair is right between his and mine for color, kind of a medium brown with blonde and red highlights. Her mouth is just like mine, but she has his square jaw.

"Whatcha lookin' at, Mommy?" she asks.

"My family," I answer. No matter how broken the road was to get here… and no matter how much farther we have to go… we _are_ a family.

"Ready?" Elliot asks softly, busting into my reverie.

I nod my head and he releases me from his embrace, kissing my cheek softly and taking Kelli from my arms. He swings her onto his shoulders and I grab my purse off the chair on the way to the door. He gets to the doorway and says "Duck, duck!" to the six-year-old on his shoulders.

"GOOSE!" she squeals, bending down to get through the doorway and kissing the top of his head. I laugh and roll my eyes at the rituals they're already establishing.

--

We pull up to the restaurant in the Touareg and Elliot points to a black Lincoln Navigator. "Looks like Ree's already here," he says. I let out a low whistle.

"She _is_ a doctor, isn't she?" I ask with a grin.

He nods and smiles. "The one splurge she's made," he says. He holds the door and Kelli and I walk past him, her clinging to my hand. He comes in behind us and wraps his arm around my waist, his hand at the small of my back. I can feel the warmth radiating through my black sleeveless sweater. He doesn't say anything, but I know it's a gesture of protection. He's always been my knight in shining armor. I glance around the restaurant, looking for Maureen's shiny blonde hair. I spot her, said hair pulled up in a curly ponytail on the back of her head. Her eyes land on her dad and her whole face lights up. Elliot's girls love him more than anything. No matter who they marry, how many boys they give birth to, he will always be the first man who held their hearts.

"Hey Daddy!" she calls across the crowded restaurant, waving us over to where she's sitting. Kelli drags her feet a little, suddenly bashful. Elliot notices and scoops her up into his arms where she proceeds to bury her head in his neck.

"Kelli, why are you being so bashful?" he asks gently.

"I want them to like me," she whispers. My heart shatters into a million pieces for my baby.

"They will," I whisper back, trying not to let her see the tears welling in my eyes.

"Hey guys!" Kathleen comes up behind us and saves the moment.

"Hi Kathleen," I say, unsure of how this is going to go down. Kathleen's relationship with her dad hasn't ever been as good as Maureen's, and I'm a little worried how she's going to react to me and Kelli.

"Hi, Liv," she smiles warmly and hugs me.

I relax a little and wrap my arms around her.

"It's so good to see you!" she says. "Hey Daddy," she continues, standing up on her toes to kiss Elliot's cheek.

"Hey kiddo," he replies.

"This must be the fourth Stabler sister," Kathleen says quietly, almost in awe of her baby sister.

"What's a Stabler sister?" Kelli asks, her interest piqued.

"It's a special club," Kathleen explains. "You can only be in it if Dad is your Daddy," she says.

I smile. And Lizzie's the one who's supposed to be great with kids?

"Really?" Kelli asks incredulously.

"Hey, you can ask Maureen if you don't believe me," she says with a grin and a shrug.

"Kelli, honey, this is your big sister Kathleen," Elliot explains.

"But you can call me Katie," Kathleen explains.

"Okay," Kelli says.

"Do you think I could have a hug?" Kathleen asks.

Kelli looks at me for reassurance. "It's okay, baby," I say.

She holds out her arms to Kathleen who takes her from their dad. "Do you want to meet Maureen?" Kathleen asks.

Kelli nods her head and looks around excitedly and asks, "Is she here?"

"She's right over there," I say, pointing Maureen out. We make our way across the restaurant to the booth Maureen has secured.

"Hi, Liv," she says, giving me a hug.

"Hi, Ree."

"It's so good to see you," she says. "Hi, Kelli," she smiles. "I'm your big sister Maureen."

"Hi," Kelli says excitedly.

"Ree, you should tell Kelli about the Stabler sister club," Kathleen suggests.

"Oh, yeah! It's a pretty big deal, Kelli. Did Katie tell you that you can only be in it if our dad is your daddy?"

Kelli nods excitedly. "Who's in it?!" she asks incredulously, as if there must be _millions_ of girls clambering to be Elliot's daughters.

Elliot and the girls laugh and I smile gently. "Just us four," Kathleen explains. "You, me, Maureen, and Lizzie."

"What do we do?" Kelli asks, very excited about this new exclusive club she's gotten into.

"We just… be sisters." Maureen shrugs. "And we hang out. And talk on the phone. And eat dinner together sometimes. And have slumber parties when we can," Maureen explains. "It's pretty special," she continues.

"Can we COLOR and watch DORA?!" Kelli asks incredulously.

Maureen and Kathleen both grin. "Totally," Kathleen agrees.

"MOM! This is the coolest club EVER!"

I smile at my daughter and mouth _thank you_ to her sisters. "I know, babe. That's _really _cool."

"So c'mon, Kelli. Maureen and I are going to teach you how to play air hockey," Kathleen says, her sister still balanced carefully on her hip.

"I get to play the winner," Elliot claims.

"Ready to get beat, old man?" Kathleen asks.

Elliot laughs. "Dream on, young lady."

"Liv, you still drink iced tea?" Maureen asks.

I nod. "Why?"

She shrugs. "I ordered you one," she said with a smile. I can't help but smile back.

"Thanks, Ree," I say.

"No problem," she shrugs. And with that, she's off to teach Kelli the finer points of air hockey.

"They grew up," I say to Elliot as we slide into the booth.

He nods. "Yeah. Yeah they did," he says proudly.

"I just wish Lizzie could be here for this inaugural meeting of the 'Stabler sister club,'" I say.

"This isn't inaugural," Elliot grins. "There really is a club," he says.

"They didn't just make that up?" I ask.

"Nope. They had a fort and everything. If Richard went within ten feet of it he'd damn near get his head taken off," Elliot grins. He reaches over and takes my hand. "My girls have always taken care of each other," he says. "They'll take care of their sister. Don't worry," he says.

I look over at the girls playing air hockey, Kelli held up on Maureen's knee at one end of the table, Katie coaching from the other end. Maureen's hand is over Kelli's smaller one as she shows her how to hit the little plastic disc to make it sail into the goal. Maureen removes her hand to give Kelli a chance to try it all by herself and she slaps the puck when it comes near her. It bounces off the side, Katie ready to protect the goal. She scrambles to block the shot and the puck goes sliding by, straight into the goal. I smile to myself as the girls all squeal with delight and Maureen wraps Kelli into a hug.

I turn my attention back to Elliot. "I know they will."

--

A/N: FLUFF-O-RAMA! What'd you think?


	14. Chapter 14

A/N:

Dedication: To my girl bandbi – I'm truly honored that her first "beta-ing" experience was for my story! Love ya girl!

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine… and Liv and Elliot's daughter. Wow. I have a daughter that also belongs to Elliot. Yay for me: )

--

We're back in the Touareg, headed back to the hotel. Kelli is sound asleep in the back seat, after being worn out by her sisters and her dad. They kick grown men out of the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't know that. I mean, I figured, but I hadn't ever _seen_ it happen. Until tonight.

I rest my head against the window and gaze out to the rainy streets of the city I love. I'm almost excited to get back to Montana so we can be back here as soon as possible. I called Dana earlier today and she said she wasn't in any hurry to get me back, but that she was ready for me whenever I came home. And that she was excited to see Kelli. And then she reamed me for not calling as soon as we found her. But like I said; my boss delivers an ass chewing like most people make polite conversation, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Elliot asks, reaching over to take my hand. I automatically tangle my fingers with his. Like I've been doing it for years instead of days.

"Going home," I say quietly.

"I don't want you to go," he admits.

"I want to go so I can get back here as soon as I can," I smile and squeeze his hand.

"What if Kelli wants to stay in Montana?" he asks.

I shrug. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there," I say.

"That's kind of your attitude about everything isn't it?" Elliot says sarcastically.

I'm a little surprised by his comment. It's like he just… snapped. I had forgotten his capability to do that. I turn my head in his direction and ask, "Just what is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said," he mutters.

"I'm sorry, I thought we got all of the Kelli stuff taken care of," I say. "I didn't realize you were still bitter," I mutter.

"Bitter?! Excuse me? I think I have a right to be a little bitter, Olivia. You didn't tell me we had a _kid_ for six years."

"Yes, and? We've discussed my reasons."

"Actually, no, we really haven't. You keep saying you didn't tell me because I left. And I apologized for that. But, I'm sorry, my leaving really doesn't give you the right to just _not_ _tell me we have a child_!"

"Elliot, I'm sorry! I screwed up! I should have told you! I'm a horrible person! Is that what you want me to say?"

"I would just _for once_ like to see you take some responsibility for your actions!"

"Oh, and you don't think raising your daughter for the past six years was responsible? Well pardon me all to _hell_, Mr. Father of the fucking year!"

"What's the real reason you didn't tell me, Liv?" he asks quietly.

"Because, Elliot. I told you. YOU. LEFT. ME."

"Olivia, if you think for one God Damned SECOND that I would have left if I had known we were going to have a baby, you're fucking crazier than I ever gave you credit for."

"And if you had loved me, you wouldn't have left," I say quietly. I'm guilt-tripping him and I know it.

"I DID LOVE YOU! I DO LOVE YOU! EVEN THOUGH YOU MAKE ME SO FUCKING CRAZY I CAN'T STAND TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH MYSELF, I LOVE YOU!"

"Then why did you leave?"

"BECAUSE YOU PUSHED ME AWAY!" he screams.

"Yeah well. Call it a test. You failed."

"Olivia," he says, calming down a little. "The minute I told you that I thought we should go back to New York you shut down. Just like you always do."

"I learned from the master," I say bitterly.

"Daddy? Mommy? Why are you yelling?" Kelli asks, our shouting match tearing her from her dreams.

"Mommy and Daddy are just having a disagreement, baby," I start.

"Mommies and daddies do that sometimes, honey. It's okay," Elliot soothes her. For a moment, I'm irritated. But she's his child. He has every right to try to calm her down.

"Okay, Daddy," she says and goes straight back to sleep. The irritation boils again. For the past six years, all she's needed has been me. And now here he is, being all…_him_, and she's in love with her daddy. Dana was right. She's just so happy to have him in her life she doesn't see anything else.

"We're here," he says quietly, cutting the engine and opening the door. I open my door and get out to open the back one to get my daughter. Her dad already has her in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, her little mouth open on a snore.

"I'll take her," I say. He looks like he's going to fight me on it, but thinks better of it and hands her over.

"This isn't over," he says.

"It never is," I mutter with a sigh.

"Olivia…"

"I know, Elliot. I know, okay?"

"I love you, Liv."

I sigh again. Me too. Sometimes I just don't like him very damn much.

"I love you," I reply, heading for the door to the hotel.

--

The next morning, I wake up feeling absolutely drained. I had cried myself to sleep for the first night since the night after Elliot left Montana. Sitting up, I swipe my hair out of my eyes and think about our fight. Suddenly I know what I need to do. I get out of bed, pulling on my robe and head for Kelli's room.

"Baby," I say, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She wakes slowly, turning over on her back to look up at me.

"Hi, Momma," she says with a sleepy smile.

"We're leaving, today, Kelli. We're going back to Montana."

--

A/N: Hi. It's me. The e-vil author. I just want you to know that it broke my heart to write that fight. Read it and review it anyway, okay? I love you all. Thanks for being so patient with me this week!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Okay you guys… I think this chapter is going to be the last one. It might be pretty long. I cannot tell you how much I have loved writing this story and how much I am looking forward to writing the prequel (which will be called "Montana." Thank you, Dick, for the idea!). Your reviews have been awesome, I'm so glad you all loved Kelli so much. I saw a pic once of Chris, Mariska, and Sophia – Soph (I say like I know the kid) has totally been the inspiration for Kelli.

Dedication: My girls! Most especially RACH for the brilliant idea of "the parent trap." Also, like I said – Miss Sophia Eva Pietra Meloni!

Disclaimer: Only my overactive imagination is mine!

--

The flight home is better, Kelli is sacked out sleeping this time instead of asking me every five seconds if we're there yet. The only reason I'm not happier this time is because I know I'm running. I do that. I admit it. When things turn to shit, I hit the road. I've been talking myself into this since last night. Since the fight with Elliot. I had to go. I love him too much to stay a day longer. I can't really explain how I feel, to be quite honest, I'm not even sure I understand it myself. I don't know if Elliot will ever be able to get over the fact that I kept Kelli from him for so long, and I can't fight with him about it day in and day out. I had originally thought we'd at least stay until Kelli's kidnapper got put away, but it's not like I can't call the girls and find out how it went. He confessed, he'll plead guilty, it'll be pretty open and shut.

I know running isn't fair to my baby. But I have no plans to keep her from her Dad. And when I think she's old enough to understand (is twenty-five too young?) I'll explain to her that her mommy and daddy just didn't love each other. Which will be another lie, but hell. What else can I tell her? She'll never be old enough to understand that the reason I took her home early is because I love her daddy _too much._ So much it scares me.

The little pixie stirs in the seat beside me and wipes the sleep from her eyes. I run my fingers through her long brown hair and smile. "How'd you sleep, punkin?"

"Okay. We home yet?"

"Almost. We'll be in Missoula in a few minutes, and then Miss Dana will come get us and take us home."

"Is Daddy going to be there when we get there?"

My heart busts open. "No, baby. He won't. But he'll call soon."

"But how come he's not going to be there?" she asks, her big blue eyes full of tears, one sliding down her soft cheek.

"Honey, Daddy lives in New York, we talked about that."

"I didn't get to say goodbye. I want my Daddy," she says, more tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Baby, I know you do. I know, honey." I don't know what else to tell her, so I pull her into my lap in an attempt to rock her and comfort her. She pushes against me and squares her shoulders, her little jaw tightening.

"I want. My daddy."

I've never seen her like this. So indignant. So angry. So… Elliot. I begin to cry in earnest, still trying to comfort my daughter who wants nothing to do with anyone who isn't her daddy. What have I done?

--

A few minutes later when we land, she's still glaring at me. My child has never acted like this before.

"Do you have all your stuff, Kellibean?" I try to ask lightly so as not to irritate her further for my grave sin of being her mother instead of her father.

"I can't find my blanky," she says.

"Did you have it when we got on the plane?" I ask, dread building in my stomach. We left in such a hurry and I didn't check to make sure she had it. I'm sure it's still at the hotel.

"I don't remember," she says quietly.

I sigh and try not to be irritated. It's my fault. I rushed her out of there like the cops were chasing us. Which… they sort of were.

"It's okay, honey. I'll call the hotel and see if they can send it to us."

"Maybe Daddy could bring it," Kelli suggests.

A-ha. She left it on purpose. So we'd either have to go back and get it or Elliot would bring it.

"Kelli," I begin, looking in her big blue eyes. "Did you forget your blanky on purpose?"

"No," she says quietly, looking down at her shoes.

"Kelli, remember what we said about lying?" I ask gently.

"Why did we have to go away from Daddy?" she asks, avoiding my question.

Bingo.

"I'm sorry, honey. You can see your daddy soon, I promise," I swear to her, even though I'm not sure how soon it will be. "I'm going to call the hotel and see if they can send you your blanky, okay?" I ask.

She nods quietly, still not speaking to me unless I ask her a direct question.

"I don't want you to ever lie to me again, is that understood, young lady?" I ask.

She nods again. "Yes, Mommy. I'm sorry."

I pick her up and gather my carry-on bag and my purse so we can get off the plane. Once we're on the tarmac walking to the airport, I dial the number for the 4 Seasons that I had stored in my phone while we were in New York.

"Thank you for calling the 4 Seasons, this is Rachel, how may I direct your call?"

"Can I have housekeeping, please?" I ask.

"One moment."

"Housekeeping, this is Kinsey, how may I help you?"

"Hi, Kinsey, my name is Olivia Benson. I was in 6340 for the past few days. I think my daughter might have left her blanky in our room. It's really soft, green with yellow edging. It has her name, Kelli Serena, stitched on one corner."

"Oh yes, she did! I sent it down to the front desk. Rachel told me that your husband came and picked it up shortly after you left," Kinsey replied.

"My husband," I say, knowing instantly she's talking about Elliot.

"Mhm, he said his name was… now what did Rachel say…"

"Elliot," I supply.

"Elliot! Right. Anyway, he has it."

"He's not my husband," I say.

"Oh. Um, I'm really, really sorry, Ms. Benson. I just thought, I mean, he was here, and um…"

Great. I just made myself sound like a hooker and Elliot sound like some random John.

"No, no, it's okay. He's just a very good friend. It's nothing like that," I cover quickly.

"Oh. Okay. I'm sorry, still. We shouldn't have just given the blanket to him."

"It's okay. I can get it from him. Not a big deal. Thank you, Kinsey."

"You're welcome, Ms. Benson. Have a nice day."

"Thank you," I say with a sigh and hang up. Turning to Kelli, I tell her, "Daddy has your blanky."

"Will he bring it to me?" she asks.

"You can call him and ask him," I say, punching his speed dial number and handing her the phone.

Still holding her on my hip, I hold my breath while she waits for him to answer. After a few rings, I hear his voice mail pick up.

_You've reached the voicemail of Elliot Stabler. Please leave a message at the tone and I'll return your call as soon as I can._ Kelli looks disappointed as she waits for the beep.

"Hi Daddy! Momma said you had my blanky. I wanted to call you and ask you if you'd bring it to me. I love you! I miss you! I want you to come visit me! I love you! Bye Daddy!" She flips the phone shut and hands it back to me. "He didn't answer," she says seriously.

"Sorry, babe. He'll call you back. Help me look for Miss Dana," I say.

Kelli's big blue eyes scan the small crowd of people before they finally land on my boss. "There she is!" she screeches. She wiggles out of my arms and runs for Dana. "Miss Dana!" she squeals. Dana scoops Kelli off the ground and hugs her tightly.

"Hi baby girl," she says in her soft southern accent. She looks at me with the same animosity my daughter has been dishing out. "What have you done?" she asks.

"Nice to see you too," I say.

"He's on his way here," she says as quietly as she can, probably praying that Kelli isn't paying attention.

"He's what?"

"Let's get you home, okay Kellibean?" she asks brightly.

"Dana," I say warningly.

"Later."

I trail quietly behind them to baggage claim, Dana and Kelli chattering away about the good parts of our trip to Montana, meeting her daddy, her aunts and uncles, the Stabler Sisters Club, never touching on the kidnapping. The whole way, I'm wondering when she talked to Elliot. What he said. How he sounded. If he… missed me.

I gather up our luggage and fall into step behind Kelli and Dana again. We walk out to short-term parking to the car and get Kelli buckled into her car seat. It's a few hour drive to Jackson, and she'll be out like a light soon. Hopefully then, Dana will tell me just what the hell is going on.

--

Sure enough, about ten minutes on the interstate and she's out like a light.

"He's what?" I ask, trying to drag my boss back into our earlier conversation.

"On his way here. He called me at SIX O'CLOCK this morning, Miz Benson. You know how I feel about mornings."

Dana is the least morning-person I've ever met. I do, indeed, know how she feels about mornings.

"Anyway. He went to the hotel to get you guys for breakfast, hoping he could smooth things over. Much to his surprise, YOU WERE GONE. Care to explain what happened?" 

"Not really. It's a long story."

"Olivia. I'm not asking you as your boss. I'm asking you as your friend. This is your opportunity to vent."

"I know. And I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. But all it is is that we got in a big fight, he accused me of being irresponsible, and I left. End of story."

"You ran. Like you ran to Oregon."

"You needed me in Oregon."

"You have always used that as an excuse. And yes, I did. But you did it for you too. To run."

I sigh and lean my head against the window. She's right. I run. It's what I do.

--

Two hours later, we're home, Kelli tucked in bed from her long day and her second experience of jet lag.

"I'm gonna go," Dana says, heading for the door.

"Okay," I agree. "I'll come in tomorrow morning."

"Take a damn day off, Liv. Jesus," she smiles.

"Maybe. I'll think about it," I say.

"Let me know what you decide," she says.

"I will," I say, closing the front door behind her and heading for the living room. I flop down on the couch, and groan at the fact that it's only nine here. Crap. Maybe I'll just go to bed early. Haven't done that forever. It's completely slipped my mind that Elliot was on his way here until I hear the doorbell.

I push myself up from the couch and head for the entryway.

I open the door and find myself melting simply at the sight of him.

"Hi," I say.

--

A/N: The end. HA! You weren't expecting this were you? You guys thought I'd wrap it up and put a nice smutty bow on it and hand it to you!! Hahahaha! You know I'm far too diabolical for all of that. You'll have to wait. You don't even know what he said to her when she opened the door, and you won't! For a while! I've got another story I want to do, I want to finish Karaoke at Maloney's (don't worry it's like another chapter and then it's done), and I'm going to write Montana. But there WILL be a sequel to this story. But until then, wait. Hahaha! I love you guys and I cannot wait for the reviews on this! XOXO, Kinsey


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